


Iolaus goes Dad

by Lakritzwolf



Category: Young Hercules
Genre: Gen, The Amazons have a dark side, Young heroes out of their depth, non-canonical child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/pseuds/Lakritzwolf
Summary: When the Amazons paint Iolaus to represent the male in the Amazon culture, little does he know what that really entails.Inspiration for this was Episode 9: Amazon Grace. AU where the Centaur/Amazon war never happens and the party goes on undisturbed.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Khim_Azaghal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khim_Azaghal/gifts), [Chelidona (Hobbity)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/gifts), [islandkate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/islandkate/gifts).



> I have like a million things on my mind right now but hey, let's just add another wip that will update fuck knows how often. I ask patience of you.  
> The dialogue in the first part is the original and taken from a transcript of the episode.

“Last night, Ares gave Simula a sign in her dreams, a land we can settle as our own, about a day's ride to the northeast,” Cyane said with an almost dreamy smile. “So, tonight, there's gonna be a big celebration.”

Before Hercules could say anything Iolaus had reached his side; he seemed to have a sixth sense for coming between the two. Not that he was doing this because he wanted to keep Hercules and Cyane from getting closer. Things like these just happened with Iolaus. He wasn’t an ass, he was just... Iolaus.

“Ooh, did I hear party?” Iolaus looked back and forth between the two. “I'm there.”

Cyane tried to ignore him and kept her eyes on Hercules. “And for one cadet volunteer, it's gonna be a very special evening.”

A bright, cheeky grin on his face, Iolaus stepped directly in front of his friend and gave his best impression of someone who is in total control of himself and everything around him. 

“And that would be me.”

Hercules closed his eyes in something close to despair.

* * *

Later that night, a bright fire was burning in the courtyard of the academy, surrounded by dancing and singing Amazons. Most of the cadets watched the dance and listened to the chanting not quite sure what to think or do, but after one of them dared to join the Amazons and wasn’t immediately torn to shreds, the others moved closer to the fire to mingle with the dancing women. 

Jason and Hercules were watching the Amazons as well, and were torn out of their reverie by Iolaus who hurried towards them with a bright grin. His bare upper body was covered in colourful patterns. 

“Hey!”

Jason and Hercules couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?” Iolaus looked at Hercules, then at Jason. “Come on, they painted me to represent the male in the Amazon culture! It's colourful!”  
“Yeah, and practically useless,” Hercules said with a barely concealed snicker.  
Jason shook his head and didn’t try to suppress a grin. “Oh, they couldn't have found a better representative.”

Iolaus crossed his arms and huffed, then turned around and headed back towards the fire. As expected, the first Amazon he tried to hit on told him in no uncertain words what she thought of him, but Iolaus, being the man he was, didn’t let that stop him. Jason and Hercules watched in unmasked amusement as Iolaus’ advances on several Amazons were rebuffed in a similar fashion.

The unexpected happened somewhat later when Iolaus, after a few drinks with his friends, headed back towards the fire again for some more dancing and to collect a few more brush-offs for his growing collection. It was then that two Amazons approached him with friendly smiles and offered him a goblet. Iolaus eyed it for a second, then looked up at the smiling faces of the two women. His own smile widened into a triumphant grin as he took the goblet, watched by his baffled friends who both looked into their empty cups and back at each other. 

The two Amazons now danced with Iolaus, very close to him and without taking her eyes off his face, but his moves were getting a bit sluggish as his facial expression turned from a bright grin into something more close to confusion. His drinks seemed to have suddenly caught up with him.

“Now look at him,” Jason said and shook his head in mock sadness. “Finally some women are interested in him and he’s too drunk to do something about it.”  
Hercules exhaled an overly dramatic sigh. “Poor, poor Iolaus.”

They watched Iolaus dance, or try to dance, with the Amazons for a while, both of them waiting for Iolaus to pass out from the amount of alcohol he had in his system. By the way he moved it couldn’t be more than a matter of minutes.

“Hercules!” 

Cyane’s voice made them both jump as she walked towards them and extended her arms. “Dance with me?”  
“Uh...” Hercules tried to smile, but she had already taken his hands and very clearly wasn’t going to take no as an answer. 

Jason watched him as he followed Cyane towards the dancers, but he didn’t get to make a snarky comment because another Amazon took his hands and dragged him towards the fire as well. 

When the two met again somewhat later while hunting for another drink, Jason had a look around as Hercules filled two cups. 

“You seen Iolaus?”  
Hercules shook his head. “Nope.”

The two looked at each other with a grin. 

“Hopefully he’ll only wake up in the pigsty and not...” Jason’s grin turned into a frown.  
“And not?” Hercules looked around.  
Jason looked around as well. “These are Amazons and Iolaus is... well, you know. Iolaus.”  
Now Hercules narrowed his eyes. “You think he’ll get himself into trouble?”  
“Think of whom we are talking about and ask yourself that again.” Jason put his cup down and jerked his head towards the darkness behind the fires.

Jason and Hercules searched for the better part of the night but they couldn’t find a trace of their friend, and no one else had seen him either, passed out or otherwise. 

They finally did find him again shortly after sunrise. He was standing at the well and poured a bucket of water over himself with a groan. His body paint, the patterns already turned into hardly more than blurry smears, now dissolved in rivulets of colours that blended into a muddy brown.

“Iolaus!” Hercules ran towards his side. “Where in the name of Zeus have you been?”  
Iolaus blinked blearily into the sunlight. “I have no idea.”  
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jason had reached them as well and tilted his head in confusion.  
“That I have no idea,” Iolaus said and shook his head, making droplets fly. “The last thing I remember is drinking something that tasted like rotting watermelons from some sort of goblet. The next thing I know is I lie in the haystack behind the stables covered with a blanket.”  
“Naked?” Jason blurted out.

Iolaus narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth so hard his cheekbones protruded. 

“Anyway!” Hercules stepped between them and grabbed Iolaus’ arm. “Glad we found you again. Come on, take a bath, you stink like a dead polecat.”

Iolaus didn’t resist as Jason and Hercules guided him towards the bath house.

* * *

**One year later**

* * *

It was a morning like any other morning in the academy, and Fiducius left the building to head for the privy with a scowl towards the dorms. The sun was rising and the morning bells had rung already, but there was no sign of life yet coming from the building. 

“Useless, lazy lot,” he muttered under his breath. 

Not that Fiducius ever needed the morning bells. No, he was an early bird, always up with the sun, always ready for his duties. As opposed to those young rascals who took their duties and responsibilities far too lightly. 

Adjusting his belt after his business was done Fiducius was heading back towards the main building when someone banged on the gate, the echo booming across the empty yard. He gave the gate his best scowl, but nothing happened. So he headed towards the gate and opened the small flap to peek outside. 

Nothing. 

Muttering under his breath about stupid pranks and useless youngsters, Fiducius was about to turn away when he heard a sound. He couldn’t quite identify it, and so he cautiously opened the gate a crack. 

Still nothing to be seen. But just as he was closing the gate he heard the sound again. 

He slowly, very slowly looked down. 

There was a basket on the ground, directly in front of the gate. It was covered with a piece of cloth, but the sound he had heard had undoubtedly come from that basket. There was nothing else that could have made a sound, or contained something that could have made a sound.

Fiducius slowly went down into a crouch, and there was that sound again. His eyebrows rose into his hairline and he reached out to pull the fabric away. 

In the basket, wrapped into a blanket, was a tiny infant, two, maybe three months old at most. It didn’t seem quite sure what to think of Fiducius and blew a few thoughtful spit bubbles as it looked at him. 

There was also a note on a piece of parchment. It read: _Let him grow up with his father_.

For a moment, Fiducius just stared at the basket and the baby, and then a scowl formed on his face the likes of which the world had never seen before. He cautiously picked the basket up by the handles and turned towards the academy building.

“Cadets,” he muttered darkly. “One of you is in so much trouble now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this is me this didn't get as funny as I hoped it would although it as its funny moments. I just had to address certain issues.

When the cadets arrived in the dining hall there was no breakfast waiting there for them, even if the smell of food wafted through the building.

What did await them however were Chairon and Fiducius, and neither of them seemed to be in a particularly good mood. The cadets exchanged various glances with each other.

This didn’t bode well at all.

Chairon had his arms crossed and eyed the cadets with an unmoving face. Fiducius however glared daggers at them as if he would have liked them all to drop dead then and there. 

“Irresponsible,” he said grimly. “Careless. Lightheaded. Frivolous.” Then he thrust an accusing forefinger at the cadets. “Devil-may-care!”

Some of the cadets were biting back grins. 

“One of you,” Fiducius went on in a dangerously low voice. “One of you has some serious explaining to do.”

It was only now, when Fiducius looked at it, that they noticed the basket covered with a blanket on the table next to Chairon. 

The cadets craned their necks in curiosity. 

The basket twitched and mewled. 

The cadets hastily jerked back again. 

Now Chairon, who had hitherto been still as a statue, reached out, tugged the blanket away and to everyone’s utter bafflement, he took a baby out of the basket. With the baby in his arms he turned towards the cadets again, face still unmoving. The baby waved its tiny hand about as if it was trying to grab Chairon’s beard.

Fiducius gestured at the baby and glowered at the cadets again. “This was dropped off at the gates early this morning, and no one was in sight.”

Chairon lifted one eyebrow as he let his gaze roam over the nervously fidgeting cadets. Some were visibly more nervous than others. 

“Um,” one of them said. “Maybe someone needed a good home for the baby?”  
“Someone definitely did,” Fiducius replied haughtily. “And that someone also left a note in the basket.” 

He picked up the piece of parchment and theatrically cleared his throat. 

“Let him grow up with his father,” he read and looked back at the cadets before dropping the note onto the table. “And since they did not include any other clue as to where to find the father in question it is safe to assume that the father is, indeed, to be found inside these walls.”

There was a lot of shifting, shuffling, fidgeting and chin-scratching after those words.

“But what they did include was this,” Chairon now added and handed the baby to Fiducius. 

He reached into the basket again and produced a pendant. It had the shape of an Amazon dagger, but was only as large as a thumb.

All eyes suddenly came to rest on Hercules.

“Whoa!” He threw his hands up in defense. “No way! That’s not mine!”  
Chairon tilted his head. “We all know you have a certain… affiliation with a certain Amazon leader.”  
“No! I mean… yes…” Hercules nervously looked around. “But we… I mean we didn’t… we didn’t!”

Chairon lifted one inquisitive eyebrow.

“We didn’t!” Hercules looked helplessly at his friends. “Maybe we wanted to, but… it didn’t happen, okay? I swear!”  
Chairon lowered the eyebrow again. “Then who else would it be?”

Suddenly, Hercules spun around and pointed at Iolaus.

“Iolaus!”  
“What?” Iolaus crossed his arms. “No way!”  
“Yes, you!” Hercules looked at Jason for confirmation. “He volunteered, right?”  
Iolaus looked back and forth between his friends. “Oh come on!”

“No, Herc’s right!” Jason took a step forward. “Iolaus volunteered to be the chosen cadet who was going to have a special night!”

Jason and Hercules exchanged a smug little grin and a nod.

“Volunteer,” Chairon said flatly.   
Iolaus fidgeted under his glare. “I mean, they wanted to… they… um…”  
“Painted his body with patterns,” Jason went on for him. “To represent the male in the Amazon culture.”  
“And we all know what that means,” Hercules interjected helpfully. 

Iolaus thrust out his chin. “Well what does it mean? I can’t remember having… uh… been with an Amazon!”  
“You sure were,” Jason said with a mock-compassionate smile.   
“I did not have sex with an Amazon!”  
“Yes you did!”  
“Did not!”  
“Did too!”

“Silence!”

Chairon’s sharp voice brought the two up short and all eyes were on the centaur again. A deep V between his eyebrows betrayed the anger that he did not let on otherwise. He let his eyes wander across the cadets who fell silent and stopped grinning, then looked at Iolaus again.

“Explain.”

Iolaus swallowed and tried to square his shoulders.

“So,” he began hesitantly. “Cyane said there would be a party, right? And she said that for one cadet volunteer it would be a special night.”  
“Yes, and she was looking at Hercules when she said that,” Jason fell in. “So he can’t blame anyone else!”  
“Thanks for the backup, man!”  
“Jason,” Chairon said calmly, and Jason shut his mouth with a nervous smile. Then Chairon looked at Iolaus again. “Go on.”

Iolaus nervously brushed a few hairs behind his ears. “So,” he said again. “There was dancing, and singing, and drinking, and I was… well I talked to Amazons, okay? And I danced…”  
“Or tried to,” Hercules muttered under his breath.  
Iolaus pulled a face that suggested he was hard pressed not to stick out his tongue at him. “And then one of them offers me a drink,” he went on. “And the next thing I know I wake up in the haystack behind the stable.”

Chairon took a deep breath that he let out again through his nose in a long huff. 

“Reckless, thoughtless, and even foolish he may be,” he said slowly.   
“Thanks,” Iolaus muttered under his breath.   
“But that gave the Amazons no right to do what they did to him.”

Hercules looked up at the centaur with a confused frown. “Have sex?”  
“Without his consent,” Chairon replied. “And there is a word for intercourse without consent.”  
“Without consent?” Hercules asked with a incredulous chuckle. “He volunteered!” Then he looked at Iolaus. “You volunteered! You wanted to have sex with an Amazon!”  
“Fine! Yes!” Iolaus combed his fingers through his hair. “But I’d appreciate it if I could remember anything!”  
“But that doesn’t make it…” Hercules broke off and hesitantly looked at Chairon. “Rape?” 

“What is rape?” Chairon asked him calmly.  
“Well it’s…” Hercules cleared his throat. “When a man has sex with a woman who doesn’t want to.”  
“The man or the woman?”

Hercules stared at him in deep confusion. “What?”  
“Who doesn’t want to? The man or the woman?”  
“The woman, of course.” Hercules breathed out a befuddled chuckle. “You can’t rape a man.”  
“Not?” Chairon crossed his arms. “Why? It can’t be for the lack of orifices, surely.”

Hercules looked as if he had swallowed his tongue and Jason had his mouth hanging half open, both their faces glowing crimson.

“Okay so,” Hercules finally admitted, squirming under Chairon’s glare. “But this wasn’t... it was the other way round... and...”  
“And?”   
“A man can’t... not that way!”  
“And why is that?” 

Chairon tilted his head with raised eyebrows. Hercules nervously licked his lips while he looked around for help. Jason took pity on him and stepped in. 

“Because he has to enjoy it?”  
“Enjoy it?” Chairon was still totally calm, as if he was discussing breakfast choices for tomorrow.  
“Yes,” Jason said, and pointed embarrassedly at his crotch. “You know?”  
“We are grown men,” Chairon replied, then nodded at Lillith. “And women.” He looked at Jason again. “Call a spade a spade.”  
“Oh well.” Jason rolled his shoulders. “He has to be hard. And for that, he has to enjoy what happens.”

“Is that so?” Chairon said, and there was something in his eyes that looked close to amusement. “Will the cadet who has never, for whatever reason, been erect despite himself please step forward?”

Again, there was a lot of fidgeting, shuffling, scratching and throat-clearing, and in general everyone looked anywhere but Chairon, but no one stepped forward. 

“So,” Chairon went on. “Don’t you think that if a woman goes about it the right way, she can have intercourse with a man who does not want to?”

Hercules hastily smoothed his hair back. “But he wanted to!”  
“Really?” Chairon rested his eyes on Iolaus again. “If they had told you that you would have to be drugged for it to happen, would you still have said yes?”   
“No,” Iolaus said darkly. “Of course not.”  
“But that’s not the point!” Hercules cut in.  
“Then what is the point?” Chairon crossed his arms again.  
“The point is that he wanted it! And that he got so drunk he can’t remember it is no one else’s fault!”

Chairon sighed, like a mother who has to deal with children who refuse to understand.

“If a man was so drunk he cannot remember last night, would he still have been able to… perform?”

Silence. 

Hercules swallowed and looked at Jason who looked as abashed. 

“Did you witness what happened?” Chairon asked Hercules and Jason.  
“We only saw that two Amazons offered him a drink,” Jason said. “At that point he was too drunk to do anything and…”   
“And?”  
“Well they… he kind of… was gone next time we looked.”  
“And the Amazons?”  
Jason cleared his throat. “They were… kind of gone too.”  
Chairon lowered his eyebrows. “And why did you think that after Iolaus had been assigned that particular role, the Amazons still would have had an interest in him if he was stone drunk?”

In the silence that followed, Iolaus took a small step back with his arms crossed and his lips pressed tightly together. He looked as if he would rather scrub the toilets in Tartarus than being the object of this discussion. 

“Tell me,” Chairon said slowly. “If it had been Lillith and a group of handsome strong warriors, would you have watched while she was given a drink and being led away afterwards?”  
“What?” Hercules vehemently shook his head. “Of course not!”  
“Then why did you watch it happen to Iolaus?”

It was clear that Jason and Hercules became more and more uncomfortable by the minute. 

“What he wanted is not what he got,” Chairon said and looked at the other cadets as well. “It did not happen with his consent.”  
“But he wanted it!” Hercules said again almost desperately.   
“Because he did not say no?”  
“Because he wanted it,” Hercules replied stubbornly.  
“He wanted to be drugged?”  
“No, of course not!”  
“Ah.”

Hercules dragged both hands down his face.

“Back to having intercourse with someone against their will,” Chairon said after a pause. “A man, for example, forcing himself onto a woman. What if she is unconscious?”  
“Uh…” Hercules looked imploringly at Jason, but the latter didn’t have an answer either.  
“If she is unconscious, she can neither give nor withdraw her consent,” Chairon went on. “Right?”

Hercules had run out of words, and so had Jason. They stared up at their teacher with tight, pale faces.

“You.” Chairon pointed at a random cadet. “Do ten push-ups.”  
“What?”  
“Ten push-ups!” Chairon barked. “Now!”

The cadet in question looked left and right in confusion but no one said anything, so he lowered himself down and started doing push-ups. 

“Now,” Chairon said to him after he was done and got up again. “Did you enjoy the exercise?”  
“What?” The cadet shrugged. “No!”  
“Then why did you do it?”  
“Because you told me to?”  
“But if you didn’t want to do it, then why did you do it?”  
“You ordered me to.”  
“Right.”

Chairon looked at Lillith. “Lillith,” he said. “You are on your way to Corinth, and a group of men with weapons appear on the way. They hold a knife to your throat and demand your money. What do you do?”  
“I give them my money?” Lillith looked a bit confused.  
“Why?”  
“Because otherwise they’ll kill me, probably.”  
“But you could refuse,” Chairon said mildly.   
“No, I can’t,” Lillith replied as if Chairon had totally misunderstood her. “Because they will kill me if I do.”  
“And does that mean you want to give them your money?”  
“No! Of course not!” Lillith angrily shook her head. 

Chairon was silent for a moment, then he looked at all of his cadets. “Let this be today’s lesson,” he said in a loud, firm voice. “Compliance does not equal consent.”

The hall was so silent as if it were empty. 

“Go about your duties,” he went on. “There will be an early lunch today.” 

Muttering and grumbling the cadets began to head for the training hall. 

“Not you, Iolaus,” Chairon said, and Iolaus stopped, turned around, and walked back towards the table. “And you, Jason and Hercules too.”

After the last cadet had left the dining hall, Chairon looked at the three young men and crossed his arms again. 

“I hope you learned your lesson,” he said sternly to Jason and Hercules. 

The two looked at Iolaus who stared ahead into the empty air with a tight face. 

“Hey,” Hercules said hesitantly in a low voice. “I’m sorry, okay?”  
Iolaus huffed and shrugged. “At least now I know why I didn’t exactly feel like kissed by the golden morning when I woke up in that haystack,” he said. “It explains a lot, actually.”  
“Like?” Jason asked, despite himself.  
“Like being sweaty, smelly and covered in smeared paint. And I’m pretty sure I did it more than once. And probably with more than one of them.” He looked at his friends with an unhappy frown. “My dick hurt, Hercules. It really hurt.”

Jason and Hercules could no longer meet Iolaus’ eyes. 

“The pressing issue right now is something else, however,” Chairon said after a moment. 

He nodded at Fiducius who had retreated completely into the background, but now he stepped next to the centaur again, the baby in his arms. 

“I know the thought of having been used for breeding is extremely unpleasant,” Chairon said to Iolaus. “But the fact is that now the boy is here, and we have to decide how to proceed.”  
“Boy?” Iolaus shifted from one foot to the other.  
“Yes,” Chairon replied. “The only reason that Amazons need men for is to make more Amazons. And this baby puzzles me, because a lot of Amazon tribes usually cull their boy-children.”  
“Th... they WHAT?” Hercules sputtered. “What?”  
“They kill them,” Chairon said. “Because to them, they are worthless.”

Everyone looked at the baby in Fiducius’ arms that was furiously sucking on its fist. 

After adjusting his stance, Chairon sighed. “I guess they thought they would do you a favour with letting you keep your son,” he said to Iolaus. 

Iolaus stared at the baby. 

The baby, after having become increasingly restless and frustrated, now tore the fist away and started to cry. 

Iolaus looked at Hercules, Jason and Chairon, and then back at the crying baby that Fiducius tried to calm with clumsy rocking motions. The cries matured into angry howls.

“Hey!” Hercules slapped his friend between the shoulders. “Congratulations, Daddy Iolaus!”

Iolaus very slowly looked up at him, and the smile died on Hercules’ face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the term Deus-ex-machina literal and some clichés just have to happen.

Iolaus looked at Hercules, Jason and Chairon, and then back at the crying baby that Fiducius tried to calm with clumsy rocking motions. The cries matured into angry howls.

“Hey!” Hercules slapped his friend between the shoulders. “Congratulations, Daddy Iolaus!”

Iolaus very slowly looked up at him, and the smile died on Hercules’ face.

The noise was getting nerve-grating now, and all eyes wandered back to Fiducius and the baby.

“What is wrong with it?” Hercules asked in exasperation.  
Fiducius looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Have you considered that he might simply be hungry? Infants do need to eat, you know?”

Everyone stared at the baby whose face was slowly turning red.

“But...” Iolaus ran his hands through his hair. “How are we going to feed him?” He looked helplessly around. “No one here has… um...”

Chairon crossed his arms.

“Yes, fine. No one here has breasts.” Iolaus glared at him for a moment before looking back at the baby.  
“Lilith has,” Hercules said.  
Iolaus rolled his eyes. “Working breasts. I mean... ones you can feed with.”  
“Besides,” Jason added. “If you ask her she’ll make sure you’ll have to sit down to piss for the rest of your life.”

The baby’s cries began to sound desperate.

“Oh it’s not fair!” Iolaus burst out. “It’s not fair! He’s so small, they could at least have waited until he’s weaned!”  
“But how are we going to feed it?” Jason asked.  
“We do have nanny goats,” Chairon said. “Although goat’s milk is surely not the best for him, it’s the only thing we have.”  
“And how is he going to eat... drink it?” Iolaus ran his fingers through his hair again. “He... he’s so small, he can’t eat it with a spoon, can he?”  
“No,” Fiducius said, having given up on rocking the baby as that made it only worse. “He is a nurseling at that age.”  
“But we... can we latch him on to the goat’s teats?” Jason asked, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

They tried, but of course the teats were too big. The baby’s cries were ear-battering and heartbreaking at the same time now.

Then Fiducius entered the stable with a bowl and a piece of sponge.

“I hope you can appreciate this,” he said sternly to Iolaus. “This was an Egyptian coast sponge and it cost me three dinars on the market in Athens.”

It was a laborious undertaking and it took forever. Soaking the slice of sponge in milk and having the baby suckle the milk out again seemed, at first at least, only to make it hungrier than before. At one point however it calmed down somewhat, and eventually stopped suckling and yawned.

“There has to be a better way,” Jason said and leaned against the wall.  
Iolaus stared at the baby in Jason’s arms that was about to fall asleep. “At least he won’t have to starve now. But those Amazons really could...” He broke off with an angry sigh.

Hercules looked at the baby too, and suddenly narrowed his eyes. He left the stable in what was almost a run, and stopped when he had reached the back yard, empty at this time of day.

“Hephaestus!” He looked around. “Hephaestus! Please, I need your help!”

A moment later, the god in question popped into existence in front of him, pushing welding goggles up onto his forehead. “What can I do for you?”  
“We need something to feed a baby,” Hercules replied.  
Hephaestus snickered. “Last time I checked you need its mother for that.”  
“We don’t have a mother,” Hercules said impatiently. “We only have a goat, but we need something to feed the baby... we only have a bowl and a piece of sponge now and it takes forever. The poor thing is starving while it eats!”

Hephaestus thoughtfully tapped his chin. “So you need... kind of a fake breast?”  
“Something like that, yes.” Hercules looked at the stable. “Something to put the milk in so the baby can drink from it like it would from a breast, but maybe something that is easier to handle than an actual... breast-shaped thing?”  
“Hmm.” Hephaestus pursed his lips. “Hmm.”

He vanished into thin air without a further word.

Hercules threw up his arms and huffed. After a moment, he rolled his shoulders and headed back into the stable.

“How is it?”  
“Asleep,” Jason replied. “For now.”

Fiducius had left again after the sacrifice of carving up his expensive Egyptian sponge, and the three young men looked at the sleeping baby with a sense of impending doom. Jason had fetched the basket again and the baby was sleeping in it peacefully for now, but he would wake again, he would need to feed, and subsequently, would confront them with other bodily functions.

The first fart coming from the basket made all three of them wince.

There had been a few folded pieces of cloth in the basket as well, but to say none of them had a single clue as to how to change a diaper was an understatement.

The baby awoke with a complaint. It smelled a little ripe.

Completely out of their depths they decided they had to ask for help. They had to draw straws however as none of them would willingly approach Lillith who, or so they hoped, was the only one who might know how to deal with these things.

Jason stared at the straw in his hand and exhaled heavily through his nose with his lips pressed tightly together. Iolaus and Hercules followed him for support, but in a safe distance. 

Jason entered the training hall, looked around, and when he spotted Lillith, walked towards her trying to smile. Lillith’s face darkened when she saw him. 

“Um, so…” Jason began. “We… we need help.”  
Lillith hefted her spear and Jason flinched the tiniest bit back. “It’s not about feeding!” Then he cleared his throat. “Lillith, the fact is that none of us has a clue about that, and we were just wondering if you could help us… I mean you’re a woman and you…”  
Lillith’s face darkened even more.  
“You must have done womanly things before you came here!” Jason went on hastily. “Please, we just don’t know what to do!”

Lillith looked at him for a long moment and then leaned the spear against the nearest wall with a heavy sigh. All three now followed her into the stable. Her face softened when she knelt down next to the basket and the baby gurgled at her. It wasn’t very happy, but sure was glad it was no longer alone. 

“I see the problem,” Lillith said with a shake of her head. “Or rather, I smell it.”

She took the baby and peeled it out of the blanket. It was wearing some sort of frock that was wrapped around its body, and after undoing the knots in the strings that held it in place, Lillith lifted its legs. its bum was wrapped in a folded piece of cloth that was drenched and soiled. 

The three young men took a step back, their expressions varying between disgust and horror. 

Lillith took one of the clean cloths and tossed it at Iolaus. “Wet,” she said, and began to untie the diaper. 

Iolaus hurried towards the well and came back as fast as he could. Lillith took the cloth, wiped the baby’s nether regions clean, and wrapped those deftly into a fresh diaper. Then she wrapped it into the frock again. 

“Now did everyone see that?” Lilith said as she got up. “Because I will not be doing it again.”

“Sort of,” Jason replied meekly as she left the stable. 

They looked at the baby again that was lying in the hay and was waving arms and legs about. Hercules had his arms crossed, Jason had his thumbs hooked into his belt, and Iolaus had both hands buried deeply into his hair and stared at the ceiling with a growl. 

“What in Tartarus am I going to do now?”

Hercules and Jason looked at him and he tore his hands out of his hair. 

“What am I going to do now? This is…” he gestured helplessly at the baby. “...this is… this is…”  
“A bit inconvenient?” Hercules offered.  
“A catastrophe!” Iolaus dragged his hands down his face. “What am I going to do with him? I have no idea how to handle this! I didn’t ask for this!”  
“Um, you did volunt-”  
“I know that I volunteered!” Iolaus almost screamed. “But I didn’t ask for _this_! If I had known what it was about I’d have run away as far and fast as possible and hidden under the biggest rock I’d have found!”

A happy little gurgle coming from the hay was the only sound. 

Finally, Jason stepped towards Iolaus and patted his shoulder. “What happens now?”  
“I have no idea.” Iolaus’ voice was a bit unsteady. “I don’t have the slightest clue.”

“Why don’t we take it one step at a time?” Hercules said with a somewhat too bright cheerfulness. “We have to find a way to feed it because it’ll soon be hungry again.”  
“And other things,” Jason said hesitantly.

All eyes fell onto the soiled diaper.

“We should…” Jason began.   
“Burn it?” Hercules offered.  
“But there aren’t that many so…” Jason swallowed.  
“It needs to be washed,” Hercules finished. 

They stared at the soiled cloth in horror.

“Well, Iolaus, tough luck.” Jason pointed at the bucket close to the stable door.  
“What?” Iolaus leaned forward with wide eyes. “Why me?”  
“Because it’s yours?” Jason replied.  
“It’s not my diaper!”  
“But it’s your baby!”

“Guys!” Hercules stepped between them. “This is getting us nowhere.”

Jason and Iolaus bristled at each other for a moment longer, then Iolaus spun around with an angry huff. He took the bucket and approached the soiled diaper with the air of someone who is handling dangerous explosives. He gingerly picked it up by the cleanest corner he could find and hastily dropped it into the bucket. The diaper landed in the bucket with a wet smack that made him heave. 

“Oh come on,” Hercules said and tried to suppress a grin. “You cleaned the pigsty before, this can’t be worse!”

Iolaus glared daggers at him but picked the bucket up again. Jason and Hercules exchanged a look behind his back and stopped trying to bite back their grins.

Iolaus hauled up about a dozen buckets of water from the well that and carried behind the horse stable where he rinsed the diaper in the drain, until it was clean enough that he could bring himself to get a piece of tallow soap they used to clean tack and give the dirty diaper a thorough scrubbing. Then he pronounced it as clean as it would get, rinsed the soap out again and looked for a place to hang the diaper so it could dry.

From inside the other barn, he could hear the unmistakable sound of a crying baby again. 

Jason had already filled the bowl with milk again and they went through another laborious, tedious feeding with the piece of sponge. And quite obviously feeding like this was so exhausting that the baby fell asleep again right afterwards, and probably before it had even eaten its fill.

Iolaus put it into the basket after wrapping the blanket around it, and fell flat onto his back into the hay right next to it. 

“The gods save me,” he muttered. 

“TADAA!!”

All three of them almost jumped out of their skins when Hephaestus suddenly materialised right in their middle. 

“I come bearing gifts!”

Iolaus got up again and stared at the god with raised eyebrows. 

Hephaestus took a bag from his shoulder and opened the flap, then he dug inside and produced a glass bottle, as long as a man’s hand and about a finger’s length in diameter.

“Did you manage?” Hercules asked with an excited smile.  
“Did I manage…” Hephaestus huffed. “Did I manage? Remember who you’re talking to!” Then he winked. “Of course I did!”

He showed them the bottle that didn’t look very special. “So, this is the bottle. But bear with me, there’s more.”

He took a small bundle of cloth out of the bag and unwrapped two small teats. Teat-shaped… things.

“This is absolutely brilliant,” he said. “It’s a miracle material. You know, it’s made from the juice of a tree that grows on the other side of the world, past a huge ocean, and you can shape it into all sorts of things! So I made two of these teats, but boy, that stuff has so much potential, I can’t wait to get my hands on more! I can see a million things I can do with it!”

He slipped the edge of the teat over the mouth of the bottle. “You have to tilt the bottle, or it’s going to produce a colossal mess,” Hephaestus explained. “Don’t pour the milk down its throat, is what I’m saying. Where is it, come to think of it?”

“Over here,” Jason said and pointed at the basket in the hay. 

Hephaestus hurried over and knelt down, then bent over the baby with a huge grin. 

“Oooh… Who’s a sweet…” He looked up with a questioning frown.  
“Boy,” Iolaus supplied with crossed arms.  
“Who’s a sweet boy?” Hephaestus crooned. “Coochie!”

The baby blew a few spit bubbles and waved its arms. 

“Coochie coochie!” Hephaestus tickled the baby’s cheek. “Coochie choochie coo!”

The baby gurgled and cooed back, and after booping its nose, Hephaestus got up again.

“Right,” he said still, grinning. “I have to leave, I need to get more of this… wobbly stuff. You know, like this it almost feels like skin and…” He blinked a few times and wiggled his eyebrows with a lewd little grin. “I can think of a million things right now,” he said and vanished.

Hercules pinched the bridge of his nose. 

It was apparent now that the baby indeed hadn’t been able to eat its fill as it woke again and immediately started complaining. The absence of smell left only one conclusion. 

You could say about Hephaestus what you wanted, but his invention worked. The teat was soft and elastic, and with carefully controlling the angle of the bottle, the baby could feed without stress and without it taking more than half an hour. 

It was a relief for everyone involved. 

It was then that they realised that not only didn’t they get any breakfast, they had missed that early lunch as well. But when they arrived in the dining hall in the hopes of being able to beg something from the cook, it turned out they had saved some food for them. 

Iolaus sat down and put the basket down next to the bench and cast an occasional glance at it as he shovelled the lukewarm food into his mouth. The baby was waving its arms about and seemed to watch its hands in deep concentration.

“You know, buddy,” Iolaus said as he got up. “Those thingies that constantly keep appearing in your view?” He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers. “It’s your hands.”

To judge by the baby’s body language, Iolaus wiggling his fingers was the event of the day. 

Iolaus lifted one eyebrow and wiggled his fingers again. The baby waved its arms and kicked with both legs. With a soft snort Iolaus rolled his eyes and turned towards his friends. 

“Are you coming along then?”  
Hercules and Jason exchanged a confused look. 

“Along?” Hercules asked then.   
“Yes, along.” Iolaus glared at the basket. “It’s bad enough what they did do me, and if you-” he pointed at Hercules “-say one more time I volunteered I’m going to kick you, but I won’t stand for this.”  
“And what’s your plan?” Jason asked after casting Hercules another questioning look.   
Iolaus crossed his arms. “I’m bringing him back.”

This left his two friends baffled. 

“Bring him back?” Hercules asked with a confused frown. “Back where?”  
“To the Amazons of course,” Iolaus replied. “They can’t make me do this.”

Jason and Hercules looked at each other in perplexity. 

“Come along or not,” Iolaus said. “I’m leaving now.”

The baby emitted a few very strained grunts. Iolaus slowly turned around. The baby farted.

“I’m leaving in two hours.”

Three pairs of eyes wandered towards the door to the training hall. 

“I don’t think so,” Iolaus said hesitantly. “We’re on our own now.”  
“We?” Jason crossed his arms.  
“Thanks for the backup,” Iolaus snapped, took the basket and headed for the stables. 

Hercules and Jason sighed, and after a moment they followed him. 

But on his way to the stable, Iolaus ran into Fiducius who gave him a very stern look. 

“I know I know I know,” Iolaus said quickly. “I’m supposed to be in the training hall, but I do have an... um... emergency.”  
Fiducius lifted both eyebrows.   
“I’ll be back as soon as I can!” Iolaus hurried past him and vanished into the stable. 

“So,” he said to the baby as he picked it out of the basket. “Let’s do this. I mean, how hard can it be?”

Unwrapping the baby wasn’t a big deal. The diaper in itself was disgusting, but was peeled off quickly. Then Iolaus realised he had forgotten the clean cloth, and muttering under his breath he got up again. Then he froze, looked at the stable door and back at the baby. 

“Will you be needing something?”

Fiducius’ voice made him jump, but he tried to smile. “Everything under control.”

Crossing his arms behind his back, Fiducius tilted his head. Iolaus held that gaze for about a second before his shoulders sagged. 

“Okay, I don’t have anything under control here. I don’t have a clue about diapering and I...” He broke off.  
“How would you have,” Fiducius said calmly. “Where would you have learned it after all?”  
Iolaus could only shrug.   
“Step aside, young man, watch, and learn.” Fiducius knelt down next to the baby and inspected it. “Now get me that washcloth, boy.”

Ignoring the ‘boy’, Iolaus hurried towards the well, and when he came back, Fiducius had already taken one of the clean diapers and inspected that, too. 

And to Iolaus’ utter surprise, Fiducius seemed to know exactly how this worked, and he talked him through the process step by step. Wiping, drying, and wrapping and knotting the diaper wasn’t sorcery after all. 

Having wrapped the baby successfully into the new diaper, Iolaus picked it up by slipping his hands under its armpits. 

The diaper slowly slid to the ground. Iolaus looked down, and up again just in time to see it coming. He looked back down at the wet spot on his thigh with a deep, heavy sigh. 

Fiducius forcefully cleared his throat a few times before he told Iolaus to try that again. 

In the end the diaper was where it belonged, the baby was wrapped again and back in its basket, and Iolaus took the soiled diaper and the bucket and surrendered to his fate. At least now he knew how to do this. 

Once the diaper was hung up to dry Iolaus thought he could take a small break before going into the training hall, but when he came back to the stable the baby was crying again. Not having abandoned him, at least not for now, Hercules was trying to calm it and Jason was already in the process of filling the bottle. 

“Here,” Jason said. “You take over. We really need to go training.”  
“And I don’t?” Iolaus asked as he unwillingly took the bottle.  
“Well someone has to feed it,” Jason replied and got up. 

Iolaus watched his two friends disappear in unconcealed haste, and after a heavy sigh he finished filling the bottle. He snapped the teat in place and sat down, then took the baby out of the basket. After settling the baby in his lap he took the bottle and the baby latched on with a greedy little grunt. The subsequent silence was a blessing. 

“We need to figure this out, you and me,” Iolaus said to the baby. “At least until you’re back with your mother. I can’t do this, as you maybe have realised.”

The baby looked up at him out of dark steel-grey eyes, pushed the teat out of its mouth with the tip of his tongue and smiled. Iolaus’s smile was half on its way when the baby burped and spat up some milk. 

After wiping the excess milk from the baby’s face and his thigh, Iolaus put the baby back into the basket again. 

“We need to get you home. My pants won’t forgive me any more of this treatment.”

The baby didn’t reply and, after some fiddling about with its hand, managed to insert its thumb into its mouth.

Iolaus combed his fingers through his hair and dragged his hands down his face with a deep, heartfelt groan.


	4. Chapter 4

The baby looked up at him out of dark steel-grey eyes, pushed the teat out of its mouth with the tip of his tongue and smiled. Iolaus’ smile was half on its way when the baby burped and spat up some milk. 

After wiping the excess milk from the baby’s face and his thigh, Iolaus put the baby back into the basket again. 

“We need to get you home. My pants won’t forgive me any more of this treatment.”

The baby didn’t reply and, after some fiddling about with its hand, managed to insert its thumb into its mouth.

Iolaus combed his fingers through his hair and dragged his hands down his face with a deep, heartfelt groan. 

As he got ready, Iolaus had to discover that travelling with a baby required a lot more infrastructure than he had initially planned for. He didn’t only need the baby and the basket, he needed the diapers, the bottle, the teats, and the nanny goat. Jason and Hercules had agreed to come along, but only so they could try and talk Iolaus out of this. 

So they left the academy mid-afternoon: Three men, a baby and a nanny goat. 

Jason and Iolaus had the basket between them, each holding a handle, and the baby was content for now and gurgled happily while waving its hands. It didn’t take long however before being carried in the basket rocked it to sleep. Iolaus cast an occasional glance into the basket where the baby was sleeping with its tiny thumb in its mouth, and he was visibly trying not to smile. 

Since they had left late and needed several stops underway – and Iolaus pitied whoever would have the misfortune to draw water further down the little stream he had to wash the diapers in – it was almost evening when they had reached the Amazon lands. Since by now the Amazons knew them they weren’t attacked, but by the way they were eying them and the basket it was clear the Amazons were not happy to see them. 

Cyane had a smile for them, or rather Hercules, but even her smile vanished when Iolaus stepped forth with the basket. 

“What is the meaning of this?” She asked.  
Iolaus put the basket down with gritted teeth. “I was going to ask that, too.”

A few more Amazons gathered in the light of the campfires while Hercules and Jason looked nervously around.

“I thought the meaning of the message was clear,” Cyane replied coldly.  
“The message was.” Iolaus crossed his arms. “But you can forget about that.”  
Cyane tilted her head with a questioning frown.  
Iolaus pointed at the basket. “I am not accepting this. Who do you think you are?”  
Cyane leaned forward with narrowing eyes. “And who do you think you are?” She said in a dangerously low voice. “What do you think would happen when we told you you’d represent the male in the Amazon culture?”

“Well, I...” Iolaus faltered and combed back his hair. “Obviously it was obvious what I thought it would be! But that doesn’t give you the right to... to drop this... into my life!”

On cue, the baby began to complain. 

“See what I mean?” Iolaus gestured at the baby again. “You had no right to do that!”  
Cyane crossed her arms as well. “Do what? You wanted to! You volunteered!”  
“Not that again,” he muttered under his breath and stared at his feet for a second. “Yes I volunteered for Zeus’ sake! But if you had been just-” he held his thumb and forefinger an inch apart, “-a tiny bit more forthcoming with information my evening had gone a bit different.”  
“Forthcoming,” Cyane said flatly.  
“Yes, for example tell me that I was going to be drugged and wouldn’t remember anything!”

Cyane scoffed, and a few of the Amazons around them snickered. Jason and Hercules uncomfortably shifted their stance, and Iolaus was gritting his teeth while he stared at the Amazon queen. 

“Look,” Cyane began in the tone of someone speaking to a half-wit or a stubborn child. “You didn’t honestly think that any Amazon would let you have her body for your amusement? Or any man, for that matter. ”

Iolaus opened his mouth, but after a moment he snapped it shut and gritted his teeth again. 

“I mean it was obvious that you were a bit naive,” Cyane went on. “But I wouldn’t have expected anything else from you.”  
“None of us did,” Simula added with a smirk.

Looking back and forth with burning cheeks, Iolaus crossed his arms tighter.

“Look,” Hercules stepped forward. “Can we not let this escalate, please?”  
Cyane lifted her eyebrows as she looked at him. “He started it.”  
“I know.” Hercules ran his fingers through his hair. “But I just ask you to try and see this from his point of view. Okay, so he was naive, but that didn’t give you any right to rape him!”

“Rape?” Cyane asked with a incredulous chuckle. “He wanted it!”  
Now Jason stepped forward as well. “He wanted it before you changed the rules of the game,” he said. “You didn’t tell him that, and he would have said no if he had known. You didn’t have his consent.”  
Cyane chuckled mirthlessly. “Spare me this, please. As if you menfolk know anything about being raped.”  
“If you see rape as sex without consent and not a man sticking body parts into you...” Hercules began.  
“Enough of this,” Cyane snapped. “He volunteered, and everything that happened after is a consequence of that. Why are you here?”

A threatening silence hung over the camp for a moment. 

“You had no right to do any of this,” Iolaus finally said through gritted teeth. “And if you think you do, then you’re no better than any bunch of men who think making a woman too drunk to resist isn’t rape.”  
“If you are quite finished insulting us and testing my patience then I would like to know why you are here!” Cyane snarled and took a step towards him. “My patience is wearing thin, pretty boy!”  
“Simple,” Iolaus pointed at the basket. “I want you to take him back.”

For a second, Cyane stared at him with her mouth agape, then she burst out laughing. Several other Amazons joined her, while others rolled their eyes and shook their heads. 

“Listen pretty boy...”  
“I have a name, you know.”  
“As if I care.” Cyane smiled thinly. “You took the place of someone else, so stop whining and take it... like a man.” The last three words dripped with so much disdain it was palpable. “And now tell me why we would do such a thing.”  
“Because I don’t want him! And I can’t handle this! I don’t know what to do with him and I literally cannot handle a baby in my life! And he isn’t even weaned! You could have at least...”  
“Since he hasn’t starved yet you must have found a solution,” Cyane interrupted him. “And we will not waste any of our energy on a boy-child. You men are always going on about your sons being your pride, you should be grateful we gave you the chance to keep your precious son.”  
“So you thought you were doing me a favour?” Iolaus asked sharply.  
“Indeed we did.” Cyane no longer smiled. “For the sake of friendship. Which is seemingly no longer valued as much as before.” She cast Hercules a dark look. 

“I’m here as moral support for my friend,” Hercules said to her. “And I understand both sides, sort of anyway, and I just...”  
“Just what?” Cyane cut in. “Just think you can order us around and force us to change our lifestyle just because you snap your fingers? The laws of the Amazons have been in place for generations and we will not just let you bend them!”  
“Cyane...”  
“Who did you think we are?” Cyane asked him, her voice low and almost a growl. “Girls playing warriors? Well, I have some bad news for you. In this game, you have to play by our rules.”

Jason lifted his hands. “Can we maybe not start a war over this?”

Cyane and Hercules both took a step back, but there was no affection anymore in the way they looked at each other. 

“So,” Jason went on, trying to keep things from escalating. “What options do we have?”  
“Options?” Cyane shook her head. “Do you really think you can force us to raise a man? There is a reason we don’t have any of your kind here among us.”  
“Can you at least keep him until he is weaned?”  
Cyane rolled her eyes and shook her head again. “What did I just say?”  
“Just for a few months!” Jason said imploringly.  
“And then?” Cyane indicated towards her warriors.

Jason dragged both hands down his face and sighed. It was Simula who broke the silence after she stepped to Cyane’s side. 

“So you really mean to give the child back to the Amazons?” She asked Iolaus. “What do you expect us to do with it?”  
“What do you expect me to do with him?” Iolaus asked back.  
“It is your son.”  
“No he isn’t...” Iolaus broke off with a grunt, clenching his fists. “I mean... he is... technically! But this isn’t...”  
“We do not raise males,” Simula went on. “And we see it as a great honour to give a man his boy-child to raise it. You seal his fate if you insist it stays with us.”  
“You will not kill him,” Iolaus snarled and thrust a finger into her face. 

Simula looked back at him and was totally unimpressed by his anger. Then she tapped her chin with her forefinger.

“Cyane,” she said slowly.  
“Yes?” Cyane turned to face her.  
“I know that the tribes of Tiana and Meria occasionally keep a few of their boy-children. They raise them as neutered labourers to do the work unworthy of an Amazon warrior.”  
“Well, that is the solution then,” Cyane said brightly and took the basket that was sitting at her feet.

Now Iolaus stared at Simula, at his friends, at the baby and Cyane who was about to turn around. 

“Hang on...” he said. “Hang on! What is that supposed to mean?” He took a step forward. “Neutered labourer?”  
“Yes,” Cyane replied. “We found a way to do as you want. It can grow up here after all.”  
“As a castrated slave?” Iolaus’ voice almost broke and his eyes widened even more.  
Cyane sighed as she looked at him. “Still not satisfied? You don’t want him, so what is it to you if he keeps his balls or not? He won’t be able to use them anyway!”

Iolaus stared at her, opening and closing his mouth a few times like a beached fish. Then he snapped his mouth shut and grabbed the basket out of Cyane’s hands. 

“Men,” Cyane said with a derisive laugh. “The only thing you care about is your balls.” Then her smile vanished. “You are so pathetic.”

In the silence that followed, Cyane looked at Hercules who looked back with an expression between anger and disappointment. 

“It seems as if you had no idea what an Amazon really is,” Cyane said to him.  
“No,” Hercules replied. “I didn’t.”  
“Then you should leave, since your business here seems to be concluded.”  
“Yes. Yes, we should.”

Iolaus cast one last look of contempt over his shoulder at the Amazons before he followed Jason into the darkness beyond the campfires. Hercules followed him without looking back. With the nanny goat in tow they left the Amazon lands and first made camp after being well away from their territory. By that time dawn was already rising, and while Hercules made a fire, Iolaus filled the bottle and sat down to feed the boy. 

“That almost went catastrophically wrong,” he said to the baby in his lap who was industriously sucking. “But now I’m back to square one.”  
Hercules sat down next to him. “Any more good ideas?”  
“Oh, yes, I have a brilliant plan,” Iolaus said sarcastically. “Since he can’t live in the academy and I don’t really want to let him starve or abandon him somewhere, I forget about probation, make a break for it and spend the rest of my life raising my son on the road as a criminal on the run from the authorities.”

“That wasn’t necessary, Herc,” Jason said as he sat down on the other side of the fire.  
“I realised,” Hercules said and stared into the flames. “I’m sorry, Iolaus.”

Iolaus shrugged and kept his eyes on the baby in his lap. 

“I have an idea,” Jason said after a moment. 

The other two looked up at him. 

“We take him to Corinth,” Jason went on. “To the palace. There are more than a hundred people living there, servants, guards and their families. I find a foster family for him, and he can grow up there.” He smiled at Iolaus. “He’ll be safe there. He’ll be taken care of, and he can grow up anything he wants to be. He'll be my protégé, and if he wants to be a warrior or a scribe, he’ll be able to do it.”  
Iolaus swallowed hard and managed a smile while blinking hastily. “Thank you,” he said. “Thanks, Jason.”  
Jason smiled and nodded. “He’ll be okay.”

The image of the three men and the baby shrunk and turned into aerial view. Strife popped the bubble he had been looking into, and rubbed his hands with a demented grin.


	5. Chapter 5

Since they didn’t want to waste any time, they immediately headed south to hit the road leading to Corinth after the baby had finished eating. And pooping. And spitting up milk. They walked as fast as they could, which was made difficult by the basket between Jason and Iolaus that was awkward to carry, and by the nanny goat that wasn’t the most docile of animals and constantly tried to resist the pull of the rope around its neck. 

On top of everything else, around noon it began to rain. It quickly turned from a drizzle to a proper shower, and understandably, the baby began to complain. Covering the basket with the blanket helped little, and when the complaints began to turn into desperate crying, Iolaus fished the little thing out of the basket to carry him against his shoulder. At one point he even tried to slip the baby under his vest as much as possible, since it was leather and would maybe keep off at least a little of the rain. It was pouring down now, and Iolaus realised with dismay how cold the little body was that he pressed against his chest. The baby was wailing and shivering. 

“We need to get him out of the rain,” Iolaus said and cupped the baby’s head in his other hand. “The poor thing is totally drenched, and he’s freezing.”  
“Easier said than done,” Hercules replied and handed the rope of the goat to Jason, then he climbed the nearest tree as far up as he could. “There’s a farmstead not too far away!” He called down. “I can’t see if it’s inhabited or not though!”  
“Doesn’t matter!” Jason called back. “As long as there’s a roof we’re fine!”

Iolaus pressed the baby closer as they headed for the farmstead in what was almost a run. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I really didn’t.”

Thankfully the farmstead really wasn’t far away, and there was smoke coming from the chimney of the farmhouse. Hercules knocked and waited, and after a moment, an elderly woman opened the door. Wisps of white hair hung out from under the headscarf. 

“Yes?”  
“Please, we need shelter,” Hercules said.   
The woman eyed him distrustfully.   
“Please, we just need shelter. We...”

She suddenly looked past him at Iolaus, who was holding the whining baby against his shoulder under his vest while covering the head with his other hand. 

“What in the name of sweet Demeter...” She stepped hastily aside. “Come in, come in!”

Iolaus pushed past his friends in his haste to get the baby out of the rain. When the old woman saw the nanny goat, she pointed at the stable. 

“We have goats too,” she said. “Bring her in there.”

Jason nodded and led the suddenly not so recalcitrant animal towards the shed. It could probably smell other goats which meant hay, and being warm and dry again.

Iolaus immediately knelt down in front of the hearth, ignoring the elderly man sitting at the table who was watching him with mild interest, and took the baby out of his sodden vest to look at him. His hands and feet were a little blue.

“Oh for Zeus’ sake,” he muttered and looked up at the woman. “Do you have a blanket? We don’t have a single dry thread between the three of us.”

The old woman nodded and vanished through a curtain into another room from where she emerged again moments later, carrying several pieces of fabric. She took a small blanket from the pile, unfolded it and held it as close to the fire as she could without singeing it, while Iolaus clumsily peeled the baby out of his wet clothes. 

As soon as he had done so, the old woman took the baby from him and wrapped him tightly into the warmed blanket. The whining abated and finally stopped, and Iolaus sagged in relief while kneeling in a growing puddle of water that was still dripping down from him. He was completely soaked, and water was still trickling out of his hair and running down his body. Hercules and Jason didn’t look any better.

The generous woman now found as many blankets as she could, and the used those to cover themselves as decently as possible, to be able to wring the water out of their clothes so they had a chance to dry overnight. They had to hang them up in the barn since the small farmhouse had no space for that, and they couldn’t light a fire in there. 

The baby was lying in a nest of blankets close to the hearth, but he was very still and silent. Iolaus constantly checked on him if he was all right, but for now he seemed to be only sleeping. 

“He’ll be absolutely ravenously hungry when he wakes up,” Jason remarked.  
“I know.” Iolaus sighed. “He hasn’t eaten anything since this morning.”

The old woman, who had been laying the table with bread, cheese and dried fruit, now looked at Iolaus and the baby in dismay.

“How are you going to feed the poor thing, then? And where is his mother?”  
Iolaus didn’t take his eyes off the baby’s face. “He doesn’t have a mother anymore,” he said after a moment in a dull voice.  
“Oh.” The old woman’s voice almost broke in sorrow. “I am so sorry...”

No one corrected her assumption that his mother was dead and Iolaus an all too young widower.

Jason opened the door a crack and peeked outside. The rain hadn’t abated yet, but he stepped outside with a fatalistic sigh after grabbing Iolaus’ bag. When he came back somewhat later, he was carrying the filled bottle.

“Your timing is impeccable,” Iolaus said, because the baby just began to complain.  
“It’s a knack,” Jason replied and handed Iolaus the bottle.   
“Thank you.” Iolaus’ relief and gratitude was palpable, and Jason patted his shoulder with a smile. 

Then Iolaus picked up the baby and settled him in his lap with his head resting on Iolaus’ forearm, and the boy greedily latched on to the teat of the bottle. 

“Why, that is ingenious,” the old woman muttered. “Where did you get that?”  
“Oh, I have a... um... friend,” Hercules answered. “He’s very resourceful and... ah... creative.”  
“It’s amazing,” she said and looked at the bottle. “What is it made of?”  
“I have no idea,” Hercules said. “Honestly.”

Iolaus looked down at the baby in his lap, and at the little hand that was resting against the skin of his bare chest. The tiny fingers opened and closed, almost imperceptibly tugging at a bit of his chest hair, but the boy had his eyes closed in sheer bliss. When he was finally done, he pushed the teat out of his mouth and spat up some milk. 

“Oh dear,” the woman said. “No one taught you how to do this, right?”  
“No,” Iolaus replied and looked up at her as she held out her arms.  
“You have to burp him after feeding him,” she said and draped a rag over her shoulder before resting the baby against it. “So he can get rid of the air he swallowed. Then he won’t spit so much.” She patted the baby’s back for a moment and rocked him. 

The boy didn’t burp, he belched. 

“Very well done,” the old woman said with a chuckle and a soft fondness in her eyes. 

Hercules, Iolaus and Jason exchanged a few befuddled looks.

“How can someone that small possibly belch like this?” Jason asked. 

The other two could only shrug while the old woman chuckled. 

The farmers generously shared their meal with them, even if it was simple fare, but the farmer himself still hadn’t spoken a single word. Eventually his wife explained that he wasn’t being rude, but that he had had a stroke a few years ago and had lost the ability to speak. He still could do some of the work, and together they got along, but they were dependent on the people in the nearby village for help. Hercules took that as a clue, and immediately after dinner he left the house to chop a mountain of firewood.

Since the house was tiny and couldn’t possibly accommodate all of them, the three young men and the baby relocated into the hayloft. It was dry and warmed by the bodies of the animals below, the smell of goat and cow a small price to pay for the comfort. And while their clothes still weren’t completely dry they weren’t really wet anymore either, so in all, it could be much worse. Iolaus made a little dent into the hay that he padded with a blanket, and placed the baby into the little nest with a smile. 

“There, that’s better than the stupid basket, isn’t it?”

The boy slipped his thumb into his mouth, turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. Then he popped a small fart and sighed. 

All three of them were knackered and got comfortable in the hay with their borrowed blankets, but no matter how long Iolaus stared at the wooden beams above him, he couldn’t find rest. At one point the baby woke up as well but he didn’t cry; he just seemed to be a bit uncomfortable. And since he couldn’t sleep anyway Iolaus picked him up and relocated towards the other end of the hayloft so at least his friends could get some sleep. He sat down cross-legged next to the hatch and looked at the stars, since the rain had finally stopped and the rainclouds had dispersed. 

Whatever it was that had been bugging the baby was seemingly gone now, but he didn’t fall asleep again. So Iolaus settled him down into his lap and looked down on him. The baby looked up and waved his arms. 

“Can’t sleep, hmm?” Iolaus asked in a low voice, careful not to wake his friends. “That makes two of us.”  
The baby emitted a small, happy gurgle.  
The ghost of a smile flitted across Iolaus’ face. “I’m glad the downpour didn’t harm you. I really hope you don’t get sick.”  
This time, the baby hummed.

Iolaus looked out of the hatch again. “Feels weird, you know? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing personal. I just don’t really have a thing for babies. They kind of scare me. I mean, you’re so... so tiny, and so helpless and I... I really don’t know how to properly look after you.” He sighed and looked down again. “I know, you didn’t ask for this. You didn’t ask to be born into this... mess. To a mother who doesn’t care about you. Who doesn’t want you. It’s kind of... I don’t know, I hope you’ll never find out that you’re only alive because the Amazons wanted to do me a favour, and only for Hercules’ sake who has... who had... a thing going on with their queen. It’s a mess, really.”

He paused and pushed a corner of the blanket away that had fallen into the baby’s face. Adjusting him in his lap Iolaus sighed again. 

“It’s not fair,” he said, still in what was almost a whisper. “It’s not fair. You’re so small and they basically took your mother away from you. You should have a mother. A real mother. Not living off a stupid bottle with a teat made from... whatever that is... and goat’s milk. But here we are.”

The baby suddenly went very still and stared at him so intensely that Iolaus lifted both eyebrows. “I wonder what you’re thinking right now,” he said.   
The baby cooed and kicked.  
“I really don’t know what to do,” Iolaus went on. “And that makes it even worse, you know... you don’t have a mother, and you should at least have a father. But I’m not... I’m not father material. I can’t be a proper dad. I don’t know how to be a dad. Apart from that...”

Iolaus broke off and stared out at the stars again. A few last ragged remnants of clouds were chased about by a restless breeze. 

“Even if I knew how, I couldn’t. You can’t live with me. You can’t live in the Academy, and I can’t leave. And that’s why...” he swallowed. “That’s why it’s better like this. You get to have a proper family, Jason promised. And maybe you’ll never have to know that your mother is an Amazon who would have culled you after birth if she hadn’t been able to drop you off on me, and a father who is...” For a moment, Iolaus silently stared at the ceiling. “A petty criminal, really. I mean, who wants to be that?” He huffed out a mirthless, bitter chuckle. “The son of a heartless Amazon and a thief. So really, it’s better if you never know.”

He looked down at the baby again and swallowed hard. 

“I know I said I don’t want you,” he whispered after a long moment. “And I kind of don’t. But I also kind of... I would try, you know... but I can’t. So it’s better like this. You don’t want a dad who’s a criminal on probation. But actually, now I’m...” He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. “And here I am, giving you away to strangers to care for you because I can’t. Because it’s better like this. And you’ll grow up only knowing that your father gave you away because it’s... better like this.” The last three words were dripping with bitterness. “And now I’m no better than my own father, really, who was never there when we needed him. Always fighting in one war or another, and never... never there. And now I’m the same. Now it’s me who’s turning into that nebulous father figure somewhere out there in the world, who lets other people care for you because it’s better for you.”

The baby went very still again as Iolaus hesitantly reached out and brushed a finger down the soft, round little cheek. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered huskily. “I’m sorry I can’t be your dad. But I’m just a thief, and it’s jail or becoming a warrior at the Academy for me. What kind of father is that even?”

Iolaus touched the baby’s hand, and the boy closed his fingers around Iolaus’ forefinger. After a moment, the baby yawned and slipped his thumb into his mouth again without letting go of the finger. Iolaus pried the finger out of the baby’s grip and picked him up again, resting him against his shoulder. 

“Sleepy time,” he whispered and carried him back towards the little blanket nest in the hay. He didn’t notice that Hercules and Jason quickly let themselves fall back as he headed into their direction, and he hadn’t seen the look the two had exchanged. He put the baby down and covered him, and he settled down next to the nest in the hay and closed his eyes.

* * *

Neither Jason nor Hercules breathed a word about what they had heard last night as they left the hayloft the next morning. The old woman, who had introduced herself as Nexia during dinner, now supplied them with bread and cheese and dried fruit for breakfast, but Iolaus first ate his share after feeding and changing the baby. 

The basket had dried overnight, but the boy was visibly and audibly not happy to be back inside. Nexia watched him for a moment before she vanished through the curtain into the other room. When she came back she carried another piece of folded cloth. 

“It was mine,” she said wistfully. “And I wanted to give it to my daughter. But she never had children.” Then she looked up. “But I shall be happy if this can be useful again.”

With that she unfolded it, and it looked like a very large scarf. 

“Come here,” she said to Iolaus and beckoned him over.

Iolaus did so, and was puzzled when Nexia draped the large scarf over his shoulder and tied a knot at his other hip. Then she slipped the sling across his chest so the knot was resting in the middle of Iolaus’ back. With a smile she took the baby out of the basket and let him deftly slide into the sling. Now he was lying against Iolaus’ chest as if resting in the crook of his arm, with the difference that Iolaus still had both hands free. 

Iolaus stared down at the baby. The baby looked up at him and smiled before he stuck his thumb into his mouth. He seemed very comfortable there and closed his eyes with a sigh. 

“When he is older, you can carry him on your hip,” Nexia explained and smiled. “Babies love being carried. I promise he won’t be complaining much on your way to Corinth.”

Iolaus tore his eyes away from the face of the drowsy baby resting against his chest. “Thank you,” he muttered. “I don’t know how...”  
“I don’t want payment,” she said and patted his arm. “Just take good care of the little darling.”  
“I’ll do my best,” Iolaus said with a forced, watery smile and stepped back.

Nexia gave them another loaf of bread for the way, and she and her husband waved as the three young men left them again after a lot more words of thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

Nexia had been right, and at least for the baby, the trip to Corinth had been a pleasure. He was being carried against Iolaus’ chest, rocked to sleep by the motions of his walking father, and was in general a lot more comfortable than in that stupid basket. He only complained when he was hungry or wet, but by now, after three days, Iolaus had become a bit more proficient in feeding and especially changing. Soiled diapers didn’t terrify him anymore either. Humans could get used to anything, apparently. 

They reached Corinth in the hours shortly before dusk, and they quickly headed for the palace as above them, the clouds gathered low and heavy, threatening with another downpour. 

Neither Jason nor Hercules had failed to notice that Iolaus had gotten more and more silent and closed-off the closer they had come to Corinth, and now he didn’t look anywhere anymore but at the ground in front of his feet. He had his left arm around the boy in the sling to shield him from people bumping into him in the milling of the markets of lower Corinth, but he didn’t drop the arm after they had left the busy streets behind and reached the palace. 

The guards greeted Jason with a respectful salute and let him pass, and Ophistus welcomed him back with a smile and a stern look upon noticing Hercules, Iolaus and the goat. It was when the baby complained and Iolaus tried to calm it with gently rocking it that the stern look in the chief advisor’s eyes softened. 

“My prince?” He asked.   
“Ophistus,” Jason said with a sigh. “Please tell me there is a woman living here who can nurse a foster child.”  
“I wouldn’t know, but I am sure there is. Let me talk to the head of servants and the chief of the guards.”

Being the prince and his honoured guests, all of them, minus the goat, headed for the royal quarters to get comfortable and warm. Servants drew them a bath, but Iolaus sat down on his bed with the baby on his arm and with his head resting on Iolaus’ shoulder. The boy licked enthusiastically at a fold of Iolaus’ leather vest. 

“You’ll like it here, promised,” he said to the baby. “You’ll have lots of friends to play with when you’re older.”

The baby continued to drool on his shoulder and remained unimpressed by the concept. Iolaus got up and walked towards the window. But before he could say anything else, someone knocked at the door. He turned around as Jason entered with Ophistus and a young woman in tow. 

“Iolaus,” Jason said brightly. “Meet Arina. She’s a kitchen maid, and her husband is one of the palace guards. She has a daughter the same age as... the boy.” Jason crossed his arms. “You should give him a name by the way.”  
“Who? Me?” Iolaus shifted the baby on his arm.   
“You’re the father!” Jason gestured at him with both hands, palm forward. “Who else would give him a name?”

Iolaus took the baby from his shoulder and held him in front of him, his hands closed under the boy’s armpits. The baby blew a few spit bubbles and smiled. 

“I have no idea,” Iolaus said after a moment, sounding utterly miserable. “How do you name babies?”  
“In general, you chose a name,” Ophistus said slowly. “And proclaim that henceforth, this is what the child is called.”  
“But... how do you choose a name?”  
“Choose a name of someone important in your life?” The royal advisor replied. “Names of fathers and grandfathers are popular. Great heroes. A friend, maybe, or a dead man to honour his memory.”

Iolaus was clearly still overwhelmed with the situation, but after resting the baby in his arm again he narrowed his eyes. Both Hercules and Jason were a bit baffled about the name he chose. 

“I owe it to him my life isn’t in shards without a chance of ever getting better,” Iolaus said. “But we’ll call him Cay for now. It’s less cumbersome and less formal.”

There was a moment of silence until Ophistus cleared his throat. 

“I have arranged for everything, including larger quarters for Erion the guardsman and his wife Arina, as well as their daughter Maya and their new foster-son... Cay. He will attend the school for the children of palace employees once he has the age.”  
“Great,” Iolaus said with a smile and a brightness that were both clearly faked. “Sounds good!” Jason and Hercules both looked at him with serious expressions and Iolaus’ smile vanished. “What? It’s a million times better than what I could ever offer him!”

Hercules and Jason exchanged a short glance, but said nothing. 

Now Arina took a step forward. “I shall take good care of him,” she said with a gentle smile. “He shall be Maya’s brother in everything but blood.”  
“Thank you,” Iolaus said and took a step towards her. 

Arina held out her arms, but Iolaus handed her the child only very reluctantly. Once in Arina’s arm, the boy looked up at her in mild confusion, but when she smiled at him, he smiled back. 

Iolaus stood there for a moment looking as if he had no idea what he was doing here, then he lifted one hand, only to let it drop again. After a second, he lifted the arm again and brushed his fingers down the baby’s cheek. 

“Be good, okay?” he said and twitched forward, straightened up again, and then quickly bent down to peck a hasty kiss onto Cay’s head into the blond, fuzzy hair. He spun around and stormed out of the room without another word.

Hercules and Jason found him somewhat later on a small balcony overlooking the city. He was staring straight ahead, arms tightly crossed, and seemed to be oblivious of the fact he was still wearing the empty sling like a sash across his upper body. 

“Hey,” Hercules said and rested his forearms onto the railing.  
“Hey.”

Jason leaned into the doorframe and said nothing. 

“I don’t get it,” Iolaus suddenly blurted out. “It’s so much better for him like this! And for me! I should be relieved!”  
“But you’re not,” Hercules said slowly. It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t make it sound like one.

Iolaus didn’t reply at once. After a moment he finally uncrossed his arms.

“Let’s get back home,” he said curtly. “Chairon is probably thinking by now that the Amazons had us for breakfast.” He turned around and left the balcony. 

Jason and Hercules exchanged one more look, concern mingling with sadness in their eyes, and followed Iolaus down the stairs.

* * *

They had been gone for almost a week, and of course, by that time Chairon was very worried about them. He was visibly relieved when he saw them enter the courtyard, but seemed to be slightly worried when he saw the nanny goat but no baby. 

“I see you were successful,” he said after the three head reached him.   
“Yes... and no,” Hercules replied.   
Chairon lifted both eyebrows.   
“We didn’t leave him with the Amazons,” Jason went on. “He’s in Corinth now.”  
“Corinth?” Chairon crossed his arms.   
“Yes.” Jason looked at Iolaus who pretended to be busy with the knot in the rope around the nanny goat’s neck. “I found a foster family for him there.”  
“I am sure it is the better solution,” Chairon said without taking his eyes of Iolaus.

Eventually Iolaus looked up. “Come on, just say it and get it over with.”  
One corner of Chairon’s mouth twitched. “I was wondering why you would think bringing him back to those who abandoned him here was a good idea.”  
“Yeah, me neither.” Iolaus shrugged. “Maybe because the thinking part didn’t quite work out.”  
“I guess you realised your misjudgement soon enough.”  
“If I hadn’t, he wouldn’t be in Corinth now, would he?” Iolaus asked with his eyebrows drawn together. “I might not be a proper father, but even I won’t let my son grow up as a... well, they called it a neutered labourer, I call it a castrated slave, but it amounts to the same thing.”  
“Amazons aren’t known for being kind to men,” Chairon replied. “No matter how young.”  
“I noticed.”

Chairon regarded him for another moment longer before he turned around to head back towards the main building. Iolaus dragged the goat back towards the stable, and Hercules and Jason were left looking at each other while shaking their heads.

* * *

For a few days after they had come back, Iolaus’ mind was all over the place and he got one trouncing after the other in the training hall until he was able to properly focus again. 

He had kept the sling, and after Hercules had given the first cadet who had made a crude joke about it a black eye, no one mentioned it again. He had also conscientiously cleaned the bottle and the teats even though he knew he would never use them again, and he kept those in his trunk at the head end of his bunk. 

It was two weeks after they had returned from Corinth that Hercules and Jason found Iolaus packing a small bundle after the bells had rung that Friday afternoon. All other cadets had stormed out of the academy towards Kora’s inn and to celebrate the weekend, but Iolaus had headed straight to the dorms.

“Going to Corinth, right?” Jason asked.  
“You could work for the oracle in Delphi,” Iolaus replied and buckled the bag. Then he got up and slung the bag over his shoulder. “Have fun at Kora’s.”

He left them, and after exchanging a long look – they seemed to be doing that a lot lately – Jason and Hercules followed Iolaus out of the dorm. 

It was a day’s march to Corinth if you walked briskly, and with a few hours of rest during the night, the three of them reached Corinth the next day shortly after noon. They entered the palace and asked the head servant for Arina who, as they were informed, was at work this time of day. 

They entered the smaller palace kitchen where the food for the guards and servants was prepared, and found her there with her forearms in a tub filled with hot, soapy water. When she saw them she straightened up, brushed a strand of hair from her forehead with her upper arm, and frowned. 

“Where have you been all the time?” She asked Iolaus.  
Iolaus looked baffled and shrugged. “I... what?”  
“He has to be hungry! Where is he?”

All three of them froze.

“What do you mean, where is he?” Iolaus stared at her with widening eyes.   
“Where did you take him?” She looked at him with an expression somewhere between worry and anger. “You’ve been gone for hours!”  
“I just arrived!” Iolaus’ voice was suddenly trembling. “I just arrived in Corinth!”

Now all four of them stared at each other with their mouths hanging open.

“But you...” Arina looked helplessly at Iolaus again. “You were here after I fed him this morning and said you wanted to take him for a walk!”  
“No I wasn’t!!”  
“Well do you have a twin brother then? Because whoever it was, he sure looked like you, and he sounded like you as well!”

It would have been a strained silence if not for the busy noise of the kitchen around them. 

“Although, to be honest,” Arina said hesitantly. “I haven’t seen you do that weird tongue-thing yet.”  
“Tongue-thing?” Iolaus stared first at her and then helplessly at his friends.  
“Yes, this... weird...” Arina opened her mouth a bit, rolled her eyes, and wiggled her tongue.

“Oh Tartarus...” Hercules whispered. “Strife...”

“Strife?” Iolaus stared straight ahead. “Strife has kidnapped my son?”  
“It seems like it,” Jason said hesitantly. “But what... why?”  
“Strife?” Arina asked, her voice full of fear. “Who is that? His twin brother?”  
“Nothing of the sort,” Hercules said. “He’s... It’s kind of... hard to explain, but we...”

He didn’t get any further because Iolaus pushed past him and stormed out of the kitchen in what was almost a run. Hercules and Jason followed him and left Arina staring wide-eyed at their backs, her hands still dripping soapy water.

* * *

They found Iolaus on the roof of the palace where he stared straight upward with his hands curled into fists. 

“Strife!” He yelled. “STRIFE!! Show yourself, you damn COWARD!!”

“Iolaus...” Hercules began cautiously. 

“SHOW YOURSELF, YOU CURSED, SORRY EXCUSE FOR A GOD!!”

“That isn’t a good idea,” Jason muttered. 

Both Hercules and Jason stepped closer, but Iolaus either wasn’t aware of their presence or ignored them.

“I WILL FIND YOU!” He screamed at the clouds. “I SWEAR I WILL FIND YOU AND IF I HAVE TO CLIMB MOUNT OLYMPUS ITSELF! GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!”

Nothing happened. 

“STRIFE!” Iolaus screamed at the top of his lungs. He was already a bit hoarse.

Nothing continued to happen. 

Iolaus stayed on the roof until nightfall, but the only things that did show up were a few sparrows. Hercules and Jason stayed with him, but they could offer him no comfort. Iolaus stared at the sky until his neck was stiff, and it cracked and popped as he finally lowered his head. 

Jason ordered servants to ready some quarters for them, but Iolaus didn’t even look at the bed. He stared out of the window and tried to keep his breathing calm while occasionally wiping his eyes. He watched the lights in Corinth slowly go out, one by one, until only the inns and taverns remained lit, and the only people about were the night watch and the drunkards, whores and other lost souls a city of that size was prone to produce.

“Well, good evening!”

Iolaus almost jumped out of his skin and spun around. 

Strife was standing in the room with his arms crossed and an extremely feisty grin on his face. Iolaus curled his hands into fists with his face distorted into a grimace of fury, but the moment he had reached him, Strife popped out of existence, only to re-materialise a few steps behind Iolaus’ back. All but blinded by fury, Iolaus charged at him again, but the same thing happened of course. Strife was incredibly amused and couldn’t stop giggling. 

“Don’t you know this is totally pointless?” He said as he materialised for the third time, this time sitting on the chest of drawers, one leg drawn up and his arms slung around it. 

Iolaus stared at him with bared, gritted teeth and his fists curled so tight his knuckles were white. Strife smiled at him and shook his head. 

“See, I know why you’re a bit upset.” He hopped down from the chest. “And I apologize for the inconvenience.”   
“What do you want,” Iolaus said, his voice cold and flat with fury.

“Hmm.” Strife tapped his chin. “What do I want? What a serious, difficult question...”  
“What do you WANT!”

Strife dropped his hand and took a step forward so he was standing right in front of Iolaus. 

“I want to become a real god, with real powers,” he hissed. “And I have to be in Ares’ good books for that, and I know just the way to do that.”

Iolaus swallowed hard and shook his head. “No.”  
“Oh, I think so,” Strife purred. 

Iolaus kept shaking his head, his lips parted and his eyes wide, and Strife leaned into his personal space, poking him in the chest.

“You will get your precious son back,” Strife whispered in a sickly sweet voice and held out a dagger to Iolaus, hilt first. “After Hercules is dead.”


	7. Chapter 7

When Iolaus failed to show up for breakfast Jason and Hercules hurried to his room, and found their friend sitting on the bed staring at the wall with empty eyes. 

“Iolaus?” Hercules asked cautiously.  
Iolaus didn’t look up. “Strife was here last night.”

Both Jason and Hercules hurried towards the bed and sat down on either side of him. Iolaus wordlessly lowered his eyes and only now did the others see the dagger resting in the palms of Iolaus’ hands. 

Time seemed to stop for a few heartbeats. 

“Oh no,” Jason whispered in a dead voice. 

Now Iolaus finally lifted his head and looked up at Hercules. His eyes were burning with pain. 

“I can’t do this,” he whispered hoarsely. “Herc, how can... I can’t do this.”

Hercules, at a loss for words, rested one hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

“I can’t,” Iolaus whispered. “I’ve been sitting here the whole night thinking I should kill myself instead, but that won’t bring him back and I want him to be safe.”  
“We all do,” Hercules whispered back and shook his head. “Oh Iolaus...”

Hercules looked up at Jason who could only shake his head. The two of them then looked back at Iolaus who stared at the dagger resting in his palms. 

“I can’t do this,” he whispered and tears were trickling down his cheeks. “Herc... I don’t want to do this. I can’t...”  
“I know,” Hercules replied after a moment. “But... but maybe you don’t have to.”

Iolaus looked up, a bleak hopelessness in his eyes. 

“This is about me, not you,” Hercules said and closed his fingers around Iolaus’ shoulder. “And I will face Ares and I will get him back. One way or another.”  
“But Ares wants you dead,” Iolaus whispered hoarsely. “And he can’t kill you himself. And that’s why...”  
“I know,” Hercules interrupted him gently. “And that’s why I will face him. And if all else fails...” He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “How long do we have left?”  
“Until sundown,” Iolaus answered tonelessly. “And if you’re still alive then, he said, he’ll throw Cay into the darkest depths of Tartarus.”  
“We can’t let that happen” Jason said, horrified.  
“No, we can’t,” Hercules replied in a calm, low voice. 

“Iolaus,” he said after a moment. “Nothing of this is your fault, and Cay is an innocent little baby. Neither of you deserves this.” 

Then he took the dagger out of Iolaus’ unresisting fingers and got up. 

“Hercules...” Iolaus’ voice was raw with terror. “Don’t... please, no...”  
A sad smile played around Hercules’ lips. “This has to end, one way or another. It was bad enough when it was just me, but when gods now try to abuse my friends like this, it’s going too far.”  
“No...” Iolaus shook his head. “No... Herc...”  
“We swore to each other we’d die for each other if we have to. And I think my time has come to make good on that.” Hercules nodded slowly, the smile still on his lips. “You and your son, you deserve better than this.”

“Hercules...” Iolaus whispered. “You can’t do this...”

* * *

“Make. It. STOP!”

Strife shrugged helplessly and wiggled his fingers as he stared back and forth between the screaming baby and Discord who was pressing her hands over her ears. 

“Make it stop, I said,” Discord hissed.   
“How?” Strife asked in despair. “Morpheus said the powder would keep it asleep!”  
“Did you ask for how long?!”  
“Ehhrrmm...” Strife tried to smile. “I think I kind of... forgot...”

Discord threw her hands up with a growl. Strife looked at the screaming baby and made faces and wriggled his fingers while trying to croon, and of course, with him looking like he did, that made it only worse.

“Make it STOP!!”  
Strife dropped his arms in despair. “How?!”  
“I don’t care!” Discord snapped with bared teeth. “Bring it back! Forget about this stupid idea of yours! I told you it wouldn’t work out!”  
“It will!” Discord thrust his forefinger at her. “It will! Hercules will be dead with sundown and then we’ll get rid of...” he waved his hand into the direction of the crying baby, “...this.”

Her arms crossed, Discord began pacing back and forth while Strife looked miserably at the screaming infant. 

“Oh, this day sucks,” he muttered in despair. “Is it almost over?”  
“It’s morning, Strife, so: no.” Discord rolled her eyes so hard they were about to fall out of her head. 

They both looked at the baby that was lying on the floor wrapped in a blanket. Discord walked towards it and knelt down.

“Hey, sweetie,” she said in her sweetest voice. “Can you please shut... EeeEEeeW! It STINKS!!”

She jumped up and staggered back, and now both of them stared at the baby in abject horror.

The screams took on a new quality and – of course – at precisely this moment Ares appeared in the hall with a grin that instantly vanished. 

His eyes wandered very, very slowly down to the baby and very, very slowly towards Strife whose facial expression could be described with ‘nervous’, just as the ocean could be described with ‘wet’.

Ares pointed at the baby in wordless puzzlement. Strife tried to smile.

“What is this even?” Ares asked in almost comical confusion.  
“I can explain!” Strife said hurriedly.  
“I very much hope so,” Ares replied darkly and crossed his arms. “I’m listening.”

“See it’s kind of...” Strife cleared his throat. “A gift. For you.”  
“A screaming baby?” Ares’ eyebrows drew themselves together.  
“Yes.” Strife shuddered. “No!” He forced out a chuckle. “I mean, in a way. You see, this there...” He pointed at the baby, “... is the son of a very close friend of Hercules. And I had the idea and I may say so a really brilliant one, and I am sure you will agree...”

“Get to the point!” A shimmer of crackling light appeared in the palm of Ares’ hand and Strife ducked back a little. Discord hastily retreated out of the possible blast radius.

“It’s the baby of one of Hercules’ friends and Hercules will be dead with sundown because that friend will want his baby back and I told him he has to kill Hercules if he wants to see his son again!”

Ares stared at him with wide eyes, and then a slow smile appeared on his face. The light in his palm vanished and he threw his head back and laughed. Strife, wiping his forehead, joined the laughter as loudly as he could. 

“Is that so,” Ares said and stepped closer to the baby. 

He looked down. 

He looked up again at Strife.

“Did I ever tell you about that one time I blessed a baby?” He asked Strife in a very friendly, conversational tone. “Me?” He pointed both hands at himself. “The god of war?”  
“Aaah... I don’t think so,” Strife said hesitantly.   
“Oh, well. You know, there was this one baby. And in fact, now that I think about it, it wasn’t even so long ago. It’s funny how these things can slip one’s mind, isn’t it?” Ares chuckled.

The smile on Strife’s face looked as if it was trying to escape and he was holding on to it with his teeth.

“So you see, the Amazons usually have their children blessed by Athena, who they worship. Well, their daughters, actually. They usually kill the boys because, well, they’re Amazons!” He smiled at Strife as if he was waiting for a comedy punchline rimshot. 

“Who would have thought it,” Strife muttered and inserted his finger into his collar to loosen it. 

“And then, strange as it may sound, these Amazons suddenly put a little boy down on her altar, asking for her blessing, and straight after, they come to me! Me, the god of war!” He chuckled again. “Asking me to bless the boy, so the son of an Amazon can become a mighty warrior. Hah, I thought. Me, blessing the son of an Amazon!”

Strife was by now looking as if he was already roasting on a spit. Ares smiled at him, and within a heartbeat his smile was suddenly replaced by a dark grimace of anger.

“So you are telling me THIS is the son of Hercules’ friend you stole to make him kill my dearest brother? The very baby that so happens to be the very one blessed by and under the protection of both Athena and ME!?”

Closing his eyes with a wince, Strife was unsuccessfully groping for words.

Ares lifted both hands, and the blast that hit Strife now slammed him into the wall so hard that even Discord, who stood well away, was stumbling back. 

“Um,” someone said.

Ares spun around and Strife landed on the ground with a dull thud and a grunt. A slim, young man with winged boots and a winged helmet took a roll of parchment out of a shoulder bag that was emblazoned with a winged sandal.

“Message for Ares,” he said and held it out to him with a bright smile.   
Ares narrowed his eyes and snatched the parchment out of the man’s hand.  
“Hermes Messenger Service,” he said and bowed. “If you are satisfied with our service, please recommend us!”

He bowed again and vanished.

Ares brushed a strand of hair from his forehead with a twitch of his head and unrolled the parchment. 

His scream of fury made both Discord and Strife curl up into little balls of misery.

* * *

“Hercules... You can’t do this...”

Hercules took a deep breath and shook his head with a sad smile. But before he could do or say anything, Ares popped into existence right next to him, making all three of them jump. 

“You know,” Ares said with a sigh. “I’d love to see the show, but I need to poop on your party.”

Hercules’s face turned dark. But before he could do anything, Iolaus had already charged at Ares with a growl, fists extended and teeth bared. Hercules could just about clamp his arms around Iolaus’ waist to pull him back, and Iolaus was struggling in his grip. 

“And before you say anything, let me tell you that I had absolutely nothing to do with this moronic idea.”

Ares crossed his arms and looked at Hercules. Hercules glared back at him. Iolaus calmed down somewhat and Hercules dared to let go of him.

“You.” After a pause, Ares took a deep breath and sighed again, pointing at Hercules. “You are causing me grief.”  
“It’s not my fault Zeus has taken such a shine to me,” Hercules snarled.  
“No, it’s not, indeed.” Ares twitched one corner of his mouth upwards. “Anyway.”

Ares turned around and walked a few steps across the room. Then he turned around again. 

“Under different circumstances, I would have found the idea of using a baby to blackmail someone into killing you, my brother, both brilliant and amusing. As it is, said circumstances make this very difficult for me.”

Hercules crossed his arms. 

“Suffice to say that I am not pleased with the development of events.” Ares looked at the ceiling with yet another, heavy sigh. “One thing I can guarantee you is that Strife will not bother any of you again anytime soon, as he is presently busily scrubbing the floors of my stronghold with his toothbrush.”

The three exchanged a few puzzled looks. Iolaus however still had his hands curled into fists.

“You see,” Ares began. “Amazons ask Athena for her blessings for their children. Daughters. Anyway. We all know what normally happens to their boys.” He tilted his head with a grin. “But fancy that, a few months ago they actually asked her blessing for a boy-child, and after that, they came to me!” He lifted his hands with an incredulous chuckle. “Me, the god of war! Asking me to bless the baby so he could grow up into a mighty warrior! How could I say no to that?” He laughed as if he was telling the best joke in history. “And then Strife goes and steals the baby of your best mate to make him kill you and you know what?” 

His grin was there one moment, gone the next. “It’s the very same child.”

Hercules, Jason and Iolaus stared at Ares with open mouths. 

“Yes, I thought that too.” Ares replied. “Well. Here we are.”

“Where is my son?” Iolaus asked through gritted teeth.   
“There,” Ares said and held out one arm. 

Next to him, Discord appeared with a bundle in her arms. She was breathing through a tiny gap between her lips at the corner of her mouth and failed in trying to not look utterly disgusted. Iolaus needed two large steps to reach her, and he almost tore the child out of her arms. 

Discord gasped in relief, gulped down some air, wiped her hands on her dress and vanished again. 

“And the final punchline is this,” Ares said then. “Our dear father got wind of that scheme, because Athena complained to him. And now he let me know that not only you, but your friends are also off limits. He said that...” He frowned, snapped his fingers, and a scroll appeared in mid-air. He took it, unrolled it, and muttering ‘blah-blah’ under his breath a few times, he let his finger roam across the writing. “Ah, here. I quote: If you force a mortal to kill him, then it will be as if you were holding the weapon yourself.” Ares looked up at him with an amicable smile and the scroll went up in flames.

“And now if you will excuse me,” Are said still smiling. “I have to remind Strife to be thorough about cleaning the latrine.”

With that, he vanished. 

The three young men stood there in stunned silence until the wail of the baby tore them out of their stupor. 

“Oh gods, you stink!” Iolaus said in dismay and put the baby down onto the bed.   
“I get Arina,” Jason said and headed for the door.   
“I’ll help you find her!” Hercules followed on his heels.

Iolaus stared at the door that slammed shut behind them, shook his head and looked at the baby again. 

“Hey Cay,” he said, and his voice caught. “You’re a bit of a mess.”

He unwrapped the boy and realised that his clothes were almost soaked. He stank, and his bum was fiery red. 

“Oh you poor thing...” Iolaus wiped the mess away as best as he could with the soiled garments, and wrapped the naked baby into the blanket again after dropping the clothes to the floor. Cay was still crying, but it sounded less desperate. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?”

It apparently was, but Cay was now sucking furiously at his fist. 

“Hungry, eh?” Iolaus hopped onto the bed so he was lying next to the boy. “Wish I could help.”

He reached out, and Cay grabbed his forefinger with his other hand. He managed to stick that finger into his mouth in the clear hopes that he would be more successful than with sucking at his fist. 

Shortly after however the door opened again and Arina hurried towards the bed with Jason and Hercules trailing behind. 

“Oh the poor darling!” She held out her arms. “Come here...”

Iolaus sat up and handed her the child, and Arina fell into the chair under the window and immediately unlaced the front of her dress. Jason and Hercules looked pointedly away, but Iolaus had only eyes for his son. 

Arina winced with a hiss as Cay latched on. “Oh my, you’re really hungry, you poor thing,” she said softly. 

Hercules and Jason sat down on the bed again, and Hercules draped an arm around Iolaus’ shoulders. Iolaus looked at him for no longer than a heartbeat before he burst into tears, and Hercules slung his arms around him and held him as tightly as he could.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanakopita is a Greek dish, a savory pie made from phylo pasty filled with spinach and feta cheese. Khim and me found the recipe in the Young Hercules Wiki and had to try it.

Understandably, saying goodbye to the boy was even harder for Iolaus this time round. He was in a glum mood and not very talkative on their way back, and he didn’t really eat much either. 

It was Jason who finally found a solution that gave Iolaus some positivity back, and without being burdened by a goat and a baby they again made the way back in time for the morning bells on Monday. Chairon was pleased to see them back on time; quite obviously he hadn’t expected them to make it in time. And while they had missed breakfast, it wasn’t the first time that had happened and they would survive. 

But instead of heading to the training hall after dumping their bags off on their bunks in the dorm, they approached Chairon, or rather, Iolaus did with his friends as moral back-up a few feet away. 

“Chairon.” Iolaus cleared his throat. “I have to ask you something.”  
The centaur crossed his arms as he turned around and nodded.  
“See, it’s because...” Iolaus nervously licked his lips and tried to square his shoulders while looking up at his teacher. “I wanted to ask if... I mean, when... How long I have left.”  
“Left?”  
“In the Academy.” Iolaus cleared his throat again. “I know I’m on probation, but now I’m wondering how long I’ve got left until I’ve... served my sentence?”

Chairon mustered him for a long moment, but without a smile. “The agreement was that you stay here until your training is finished.”  
“Oh.” Iolaus dropped his head and bit his lip for a moment. “And what if I...”  
“Iolaus,” Chairon interrupted him in a calm voice. “You will have to undergo full training and the full course. I had enough trouble getting the court to agree to this as it is. If it had been a one-time offence things would look differently. As it is, in a way it is me now who is your prison ward and who is responsible for your sentence.”  
“And there is...” Iolaus began in a small voice. “There is no way I can...”  
“No,” Chairon said, not unkindly. 

“See, it’s because I have...” Iolaus looked over his shoulder at Jason who nodded. “I mean, this has to count for something, right? Jason offered me a position as palace guard. I mean, come on...” he tried to smile. “Palace guard, employed by the prince, future King of Corinth? That has to count for something?”  
Chairon looked at him with a sigh.  
“Chairon?”

After a long moment of silence, Chairon very slowly shook his head. “I understand you, and I understand your point. And if it was only me, I would at this point agree, because the meaning of this whole venture was to give you a chance at a life away from the streets and the thieving. As it is, as much as I want to, I cannot do this.”

Iolaus stared up at him and pressed his lips together. Then he looked down with a mirthless, lopsided smile and shrugged. Chairon’s eyes were kind and full of compassion, but he didn’t say anything as Iolaus slowly turned around and then hastily walked away. He kicked the dust in frustration once before he vanished around the corner of the stable.

* * *

Blinking furiously Iolaus stood behind the stable with crossed arms and stared at the wall encircling the Academy yard. Steps came around the corner and he gritted his teeth. 

“But I miss him,” he said miserably. 

“You doubtlessly do,” Fiducius replied and Iolaus spun around with reddening cheeks.  
“Oh... oh... I thought...” he stuttered. “I thought you were Hercules.”  
Fiducius ignored Iolaus’ last remark. “It was a very generous offer.”  
“Yes, but it’s worth nothing anymore.”

Iolaus turned around again and stared at the top of the wall where a pair of sparrows was merrily chirping at each other. Fiducius took another step so he was standing beside him. 

“Go on,” Iolaus said in a bleak voice. “Just follow me for the rest of the day saying ‘Told you so’ every other minute.”  
“I shall do nothing of the sort,” Fiducius replied.  
“Yeah, I guess you got better things to do.”  
“Indeed I have.”

Iolaus didn’t reply and continued watching the sparrows.

“It is strange,” Fiducius said. “It always feels strange to see something you would never have expected.”  
“And what is that?” Iolaus looked at him from the corners of his eyes before looking at the birds again.  
“You,” Fiducius replied. “Up until now you were the most irresponsible, careless and indifferent student I have ever known. And suddenly you try and turn everything around, for the sake of someone else.”

Iolaus shrugged. “It’s not going to do any good, though, is it? I’m stuck here. And if I had been a better student I could be out of here in a year. As it is I barely passed the last three exam periods, and I have so many exams to repeat to get everything I need that I’d be...” He exhaled in a frustrated huff. “I’d be doing nothing but read for a whole year, and I just can’t get the stuff into my stupid head! What is Latin even? And numbers? I’ll never make it!”

Fiducius said nothing and just watched him. Iolaus stared straight ahead at the birds that suddenly took to the air. He followed them with his eyes until they vanished out of sight.

“It’s pointless. I can’t get rid of my past. A criminal on probation.”  
“No one can get rid of their past,” Fiducius replied. “But you can use your past as excuse to stay what you are, or use it as an incentive to change who you are. And you, Iolaus, are attempting the latter. And that is something I can respect.”  
“Respect.” Iolaus looked at him. “Me.”  
Fiducius nodded. “To be honest I would never have thought I’d ever say these words, but here we are. But I mean them. But I also know that what you said is true, and that you’ll never make it...”  
“I know,” Iolaus cut in sharply.  
“Alone,” Fiducius finished.

Iolaus looked at him for a moment longer before he stared at the wall again, and up at the clouds drifting across the horizon. 

“And what is that supposed to mean?”  
“That you need help in changing yourself and turning your life around.”  
“Change me...” Iolaus sighed. “I just want to be a better man.”  
“Iolaus,” Fiducius said firmly. “In wanting to be a better man for your son’s sake, so you can be a father to him, you already became a better man.”

Now Iolaus turned around to face Fiducius, and he tilted his head in confusion. 

“But you clearly need help to come all the way,” Fiducius went on. “And while what you said is definitely true, and you are stuck with exams you have hitherto been unable to manage, you are not stupid. And if you put your mind to it, you can do it.”  
“No I can’t,” Iolaus replied, sounding defeatist. “I’ll never catch up on all that and numbers just don’t make sense! I can’t!”  
“Not alone.”

Iolaus crossed his arms. “And that means?”  
“That you don’t have to be alone.”  
Now Iolaus dropped his arms again to run both hands through his hair. “What?”  
“If you are willing to tackle all that work, then...”  
“And how am I going to do that?” Iolaus interrupted him. “I already can hardly scrape the tuition fees together as it is! And if I’m going to spend hours every day trying to hammer stuff into my head that refuses to stay in there, then when I’m going to work to get that bloody fee?” He kicked the sand again. “I might as well go back to jail and save myself and everyone else the trouble!”  
“Already giving up? You haven’t even begun, and you said it’s for his sake.”

“His sake.” Iolaus huffed out a mirthless chuckle under his breath. “The best thing for his sake is telling him his father is dead. I mean, how on earth is this going to feel to him? He grows up in a family that isn’t his own because his father is on probation and too stupid and incompetent to make use of that one chance that someone gave me! And by the time I’m out of here I’ll be a scary stranger to him, and how am I going to explain that to him? Should I tell him sorry, I had to serve a sentence, because actually your father is a petty thief and by the way, your mother is an Amazon who would have culled or castrated you. Aren’t you one lucky boy?” He shook his head. “No, the best for him is to tell him his father is dead, maybe tell him he was a warrior who fell in battle. Then he can dream about a man whom he would have admired, instead of being stuck with a father he’ll be mocked for.”

“Iolaus.”  
Iolaus sighed.  
“Iolaus, look at me.”

Iolaus did so, but very reluctantly.

“The best for your son is to grow up with the father who cares so much for him that he would give him up forever so he can have a better life.”  
“And how is that supposed to work?” Iolaus shook his head in confusion. “Should I bring him here, for him to crawl around in the training hall getting kicked into a wall by accident while I am sitting in the library trying to figure out what eight times seven is?”  
“Well, not the former obviously, but the latter would have to happen.” Fiducius smiled, a rare occurrence. 

Rare enough that it left Iolaus speechless for a moment.

“What are you talking about?”  
“I am talking about you not being torn away from your son who you care so much about.” 

Iolaus stared at him. Fiducius met his eyes and suddenly, Iolaus swallowed and looked away again. 

“Yes, I understand,” Fiducius said in a low voice, uncharacteristically soft for him. “I understand. You miss him. It will never stop. And I would not want anyone to go through it. No one.”  
“But how is this going to work?” Iolaus said in a slightly trembling voice.  
“Obviously, someone has to take care of him while you do your work. And obviously, with me being in the library most of the day and being the most qualified, that would be me. I told you that you cannot do this alone. But if you are willing to work hard enough, then I am willing to help you.”

Iolaus stared at him, blinking furiously. 

“I never said all these things to you, and about you, because I despise you,” Fiducius said almost gently. “I said them because I saw so much wasted potential. And despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, I am not here in the Academy to torture the students, but to help them on their way.”

At a loss for words, Iolaus wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. 

“But how... how am I going to figure out the...”  
“On account of you having to support a family, I am willing to make a special arrangement with you,” Fiducius said. “Tuition fees will be on credit. I can safely assume the offer of the prince of Corinth still stands, so at one point, you will be able to pay the Academy back.”

Iolaus still stared at him and shook his head. “But how... how am I ever going to repay _you_?”  
“I don’t need nor want repayment,” Fiducius replied. “Become the man you were meant to be. A good man. A good warrior.” He reached out and rested a hand on Iolaus shoulder. “And a good father.”

Before Iolaus could say anything else, Fiducius dropped his hand and stepped back. His normal facial expression returned and he nodded.

“You should be in the training hall for your lessons,” he said sternly. “We discuss more details after the afternoon bells. Find me in my office.”

With that he turned around and left him. 

Hercules and Jason found Iolaus behind the stable somewhat later. He was still staring into the direction Fiducius had vanished, the tears drying on his cheeks.

* * *

They used the following week to get the infrastructure in place: Hercules built a large play pen in the library and set up a crib and a changing table, and several doorways were now equipped with a knee-high trellis gate that was no obstacle to anyone but a very effective barrier for a crawling baby or walking toddler. 

General consensus was a great puzzlement about Fiducius and his offer, but he would reply that he was the most qualified person in the Academy and that the son of Iolaus doubtlessly needed a strong, firm hand to guide him on his way and to teach him discipline, respect and responsibility.

Arina parted from the boy with moist eyes, but she was happy Iolaus wouldn’t be parted from his son anymore and gave him a stack of diapers and baby clothes without hesitation. And with the first light of dawn on Sunday morning, three men, a baby and a nanny goat left Corinth and headed north towards Chairon’s Academy. 

Since Cay was now beginning to be able to sit Iolaus no longer needed to carry him against his chest, and snugly enclosed by the sling the boy rode Iolaus’ hips with his thumb in his mouth, looking at the world in wide-eyed fascination. 

With his soft, fuzzy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and sunny attitude it was impossible not to smile at him whenever you looked at the boy, and everyone they met on the road had to stop to coo at him a bit. They left a trail of smiling people behind. 

They reached the Academy that evening after dinner, but they had eaten on the road since Arina had supplied them generously with baklava and spanakopita. 

The Academy had a few bedrooms in the upper storey, for people like guest teachers or important visitors. Iolaus had been given one of those rooms now because the cadets couldn’t be expected to share their dorm with a baby who could wake up at any point any night because of teething or being gassy, hungry or wet. But as soon as Iolaus had dropped of the large bag with clothes, diapers and blankets he headed downstairs again. The boy on his hip, he approached his teachers who were waiting for him downstairs in the entry hall, accompanied by most of the other cadets. 

Iolaus came to halt in front of Chairon and Fiducius, and even their stern attitude softened when Cay smiled brightly at them with a coo. 

Chairon’s mouth twitched into a smile. “This has to be the youngest cadet the Academy has ever seen.” 

Iolaus smiled back at him and stepped closer. “Cay,” he said to his son. “Meet Chairon, the man I owe it to that I’m not in prison with one of my hands chopped off. He’s basically the reason you exist because I wouldn’t have met the Amazons otherwise, but he’s also the reason I’m not a criminal anymore.” 

Then he looked up at Chairon whose eyes had softened considerably during Iolaus’ last words. 

“Chairon, this is my son, and your namesake, little Chairon. We call him Cay to avoid confusion.”

Chairon lifted his chin and slowly crossed his arms. “You named your son after me?”  
Iolaus nodded. “I meant what I said.”  
“Doubtlessly you do.” Chairon inclined his head. “I am honoured. So the name of our youngest cadet is Chairon too.”  
“Chairon Pathias, son of Iolaus,” Iolaus said and gave Fiducius a small smile.

Fiducius had an incredibly stern look on his face, his mouth a thin line as he inclined his head. But his eyes were glistening with moisture.

Chairon looked at Fiducius too, and then back at Iolaus. 

“Welcome to the Academy, Chairon Pathias, son of Iolaus.”

“Hmm-bah,” Cay replied with a grin, and everyone around them had to laugh. Even Fiducius couldn’t suppress a twitch of his lips.


	9. Epilogue

Being a nosy, attentive child, Cay could be a handful, and more than once Fiducius remarked that the play pen was one of Hercules’ better ideas. He had been living at the Academy now for almost five months, and had by now wrapped everyone around his little finger. Everyone but Fiducius that is, who of course constantly talked about a firm hand to guide him and teach him discipline, but Iolaus had caught him once slipping the boy a sweet while he thought no one was looking. Iolaus hadn’t let it on, but he hadn’t been able to stop grinning for the rest of the day. 

Occasionally, Fiducius would visit the training hall with Cay on his arm, and Iolaus settled him on his hip to show him various pieces of equipment, which Cay regarded with fascination. 

The first time Iolaus took Cay along to Kora’s inn, the innkeeper in question couldn’t stop squealing in delight. She carried the boy around to show him the kitchen, and they came back with him gnawing on a small heel of bread. 

“Aren’t you a sweetheart!”   
Cay dropped the bread and proceeded to drool on Kora’s arm. Wincing, Iolaus hurried towards her side with a burp rag. “Uh... Sorry about that.”  
“Oh not a problem at all!” Kora crooned. “What a sweetheart!”

“He’s charming literally everyone,” Hercules muttered to Jason.  
Jason could only nod as Iolaus came back to the table with Cay on his arm.

Iolaus was surrounded by delighted young women for the rest of the day. 

“He’s a chick magnet,” Jason said as they left. “Can I borrow him tomorrow?”  
“Not a chance,” Iolaus replied as he settled Cay on his hip.

The three of them shared a laugh as they hit the road towards the Academy.

* * *

Things became a tad bit more demanding when Cay began to move around on his own, but miraculously Fiducius had always a lock on that, and he never got in danger somewhere. 

The cadets were just having a break and Chairon walked in to give some feedback on the techniques and moves of one cadet or another when he suddenly froze. Everyone around him froze too and the cadets, while shuffling feet and scratching chins, tried not to grin or laugh. 

Chairon looked very slowly over his shoulder and down towards his rear end where Cay had gotten hold of his tail to pull himself onto his feet. 

“I would very much appreciate you not doing that,” Chairon said with a stern face and a glint in his eyes while remaining absolutely motionless.  
“Baahbada,” Cay said and exchanged his grip on Chairon’s tail with holding on to Chairon’s hind leg.

Chairon lifted both eyebrows and twitched his tail, just a little bit, so it tickled the boy’s face. Cay sneezed and laughed so hard he lost his grip and his balance and landed flat on his bum. Then he instantly let himself fall forward and nimbly crawled towards Chairon’s foreleg to try again. 

“Kaaa.”

Chairon bent down and cautiously picked the boy up, and Cay gave him his irresistible, two-toothed grin. Smiling in return, Chairon placed the boy onto his back, directly behind his torso where it was broadest. Cay squeaked in delight. 

“We would not want you to get underfoot somewhere,” Chairon said.   
“Or underhoof, as it were,” Iolaus said with a small grin. “Should I take him?” He held out his arms.  
“Ah, it’s fine.”

From that day on, Cay would quite often be seen sitting on Chairon’s back holding on to his fur, and Chairon developed a habit of walking very calmly, his arms always hanging down. Whenever Cay was about to lose his balance Chairon would reach for him, and his little namesake didn’t fall from his back even once. Thus Cay was probably the only child in the world who got centaurback rides instead of piggyback rides. And the only child who was able to ride before he could walk.

The whole Academy celebrated Cay’s first birthday, which they were able to determine because Fiducius kept tracks and records of literally everything that happened in the Academy. And it had probably to do with Cay spending a lot of time with Fiducius that he was slow in learning to walk, but on the other hand quite proficient in talking for a child of his age. 

Iolaus had to wipe his eyes the first time Cay called him Dada, and the boy quickly mastered other names after that. Jason, Hercules and Chairon were the first, followed by Lilith and, to his great embarrassment and everyone’s amusement, ‘Uncle’ Fiducius. 

Because Jan and Herc were fine, Cai-oon wasn’t bad either and Li-Li rather cute, but no one could look at Fiducius anymore without having to bite back a grin after hearing him being called unky Foo-Too.


End file.
